me. finale.

God remained faithful through the first 16 years of my life, before I ever gave Him credit or acknowledged Him for who he is. He brought our family through a very hard time. We were lead divinely to exactly the right place so that we could meet with the exactly the right people that could help. I am amazed as I am typing this how much He kept us safe in His arms; though we didn't notice.

In June/July during the summer in between my Junior and Senior year of high school I went on my very first trip to a place that is very close to my heart: Estonia. It was only an 11 day trip, but it was incredible. I was so free while I was there. I acted a little crazier and dropped a lot of the nerves I tend to get around people. It was a great experience.

After returning it would soon be time to start my Senior year high school. I can remember Leigh Anne always joking about how we can't believe I made it that far, alive. No, never because we were worried of an overdose or car wreck even; simply because Leigh Anne wanted to kill me during those first 6 years in Georgia. I am glad she didn't though, I'm not sure what she would do without my messy room or smart comments I tend to make.

Anyhow, I was anxious for senior year to fly by and luckily I was on work program. I was able to leave school before 12:00 each day. It was like a dream come true. I started off my senior year as one of the leaders for FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). From the beginning this was a struggle; seeing that I wasn't an athlete it was hard to gear the messages and themes towards athletes.

In my junior year I began to mess around on drums a little bit. When I was in 7th grade I made the best decision in band class to switch from the ever so manly clarinet to the percussion side of the world. I never knew how important of a decision I made right then. Some of the other leaders at FCA wanted to start a band that could lead worship, they asked me to play drums. I agreed and I was pretty horrible. I had never really learned how to play. I hadn't played much since middle school and it was so difficult the first time we played. I did enjoy it though.

Over the remainder of Senior year I joined a band with some really good buddies of mine. The original name of the band was "Blueberry Jam" and our claim to fame is a cover of "Mountain Jam" by the Allman Brothers, although we changed the name to "Sawnee Mountain Jam." For those of you that live in Forsyth, you should understand.

Most of the time we would just mess around at Joel's house (one of the guitarist) for hours, managing to play two MAYBE three songs in that time. We enjoyed to drag out guitar solos, change the tempo of songs and build it up real big at the end. It was great time. We played a few shows that year and people seemed to enjoy us for the most part. While I was playing with these guys and also playing with FCA I realized that I really enjoy drums. I started practicing on my own time and then would go and play for hours with The Revival (the new name for Blueberry Jam). It was cool to become a drummer again.

I made it through my senior year and during that time Estonia slipped back into my life. I was asked to come back to Estonia for a full summer after my Senior year and along with me my buddy Scott was also asked. He was much quicker to say yes than I was. There were a few things in my life that I was not so willing to give up, but as soon as I did I sent the email to Chris Brock asking if I could come.

After graduation was over and the festivities that follow, Scott and I boarded a plane for a two month journey in Estonia. That summer was the most eye opening summer I ever experienced. God made himself so known to me. He made it so clear that I could have a relationship with him and be closer than I was before. He showed me that He can work through me and use me to bring glory to his name. He taught me that things can get tough but to trust in him and he would carry me and the team I was working with through those times. I could spend 15 blog posts on just that summer in Estonia alone, so I will move on.

In August just after returning from Estonia I gained my current job at Starbucks. It has treated me well over the last year and a half. Sometime between August and January of 2008, my friend Nick asked me to come play drums at the youth group he was playing at the time. I remember being so nervous about it. I had to learn to play live with a click track (metronome) and also to play something that was not as improvised a jam band music. I made it through it alive and they kept calling me back. I was amazed, I hadn't decided that I wanted to continue playing drums when I got back from Estonia, in fact it had almost been time to close up that part of life. Though, I got the call. Over the following months I got much better at playing with a click track and I learned many new things about drumming and worship music. I had moved away from jam band music and moved into my favorite type of music.

During the end of 2008 and beginning of 2009 I spent time thinking about whether or not I wanted to return to Estonia for another summer. I ended up making the decision that I would. I raised the support and was getting ready to head back to Estonia in June of 2009. The only thing I was nervous about this time around was, am I still going to be able to play drums when I get back?

There I was heading back to Estonia for two and half months. This past summer was the most amazing time I have ever experienced with God. In the summer past, He showed me this close relationship I could have with him. In the most recent visit to Estonia He showed me how faithful and TRUE his word is. I learned a lot about the Bible in this past summer. I learned a ton about how God worked between the Old Testament and New Testament of the Bible. There were so many themes through His word that I was beginning to see and how everything was always leading up to the birth of Jesus. It was incredible, I fell in love with Estonia last summer. So much so that I began speaking about leaving the states for some time to live there. This desire is still in my heart, but it is all in God's time.

Since returning in August I have spent a lot of time with friends. This has been a struggle because sometimes I am not the most loving and compassionate person, especially if I am in a bad mood. God has showed me this in the last couple of months. It is becoming my "thing" to work on in 2010. The verse "Let your love be genuine" in Romans snuck up on me a week ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it.

Other than working at Starbucks and spending time with friends, there has been drums. I never dreamed drums would even go as far as it has now. It continues to grow though. I have seen God in it a lot. I am enjoy each time I get behind a drum set more and more. As far as my future goes in Estonia, I am unsure. Right now I am following my dream.

I can't complain about life right now. I have people in my life that I have never cared so much about anyone else. I struggle to show them sometimes, but it is in me. My prayer this year is to grow into loving relationships with the people in my life. Drop the sassy part of me and to let my love be genuine. I cannot do this without God. I have to allow him to work through me and step out of His way.

I hope you have enjoyed seeing the journey God has taken me and my family on. Please forgive anything that is not grammatically correct. There were many thoughts I was trying to get out! I am looking forward to sharing more on the blog about God and what he is teaching me. I hope it can bless you, as I would love see this Blog only for His glory. Go, enjoy your day and we can catch up soon.

Thank you,

brett

me part quatre.

The next 28 days of my life would be a lonely healing time. Two times a day I would be in groups of others who struggled with drugs and alcohol like myself. In some cases worse than mine and others not as severe. It was interesting though; when you put a group of recovering addicts together there is a temptation to have a better drug story than the other. It was almost like you got some "fix" out of reliving your drug past.

I don't remember too much of this time spent in there other than it being very lonely. I spent thanksgiving without family that year. It was very tough to be able to only speak to your parents once a week for a chosen length of time. While I was there I received letters from some people. The people who sent me letters were the guys from my small group, family and others at church. I am now realizing how awesome it was to get those letters from them. I remember getting a letter from my friend Elizabeth while I was there; she sent me a small metal cross and words of encouragement. It meant a lot to me, I had gone pretty far from the "faith" that I found in 9th grade.

On the last weekend I was in treatment we had to do counseling as a family. Those three days were some of the toughest times we had together as a family. I had to reveal every thought, action and drug I had ever done, to my parents during those days. It was extremely tough on Leigh Anne. I remember her saying, "how am I ever going to let you back into my home and how am I ever going to trust you again?" That is a real statement and very powerful. It was true though; after all of the hateful things I'd done and all the money I took from my parents, how were they going to trust me again?

After the three days were over I was released from treatment and the three of us as a family went to spend a few days in Seattle. It was pretty awesome there. For a long time I wanted to move to Seattle later in my life. After we left Seattle I flew to Indiana to spend some time with Jack and Nancy (Leigh Anne's parents) for the days leading up until my parents got there for Christmas. While I was there, before Dad and Leigh Anne got into town, I spent a couple of nights drinking cough syrup and taking pills I had found in the bathroom cabinet in attempt to get high. I had relapsed, just days after leaving treatment. I did not get caught for this and decided I would not tell anyone this had happened.

After returning to Atlanta after Christmas I began to go back to school and also went back to the Out-Patient drug treatment place I had attended before being sent to Washington. I would spend the next 6 months going to treatment three nights a week for 3 hours each time. I also attended 1-3 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings a week during this time. I will forever be grateful for one of my counselors there named Ashley. Ashley had a way of digging deep into your emotions and head and opening them up. After crying at the realization he had pulled out, the two of us would begin to stitch the wound back up and leave it in the past. These months of being in treatment were very painful and growing for my family and I. After the six months were over and I graduated from Out-Patient treatment my family and I had a sense of trust in the home. I did end up telling everyone about my relapse that I had a few days after treatment, 4 months after it had happened. This is really were I began to see progress in my life. After I told that secret I had nothing else to hide from Dad and Leigh Anne.

During this time I really focused on Church and God. I fell in love with God and I enjoyed helping out at the church. I surrounded myself with great friends whom were great to have around. I made it through my 10th grade year and the summer after and was excited for my junior year. I worked my first job during my junior year; Mama Leo's pizza. I had a girlfriend from tenth grade into eleventh grade who was great to have around. Things were going great!

Shortly after my girlfriend at the time and I broke up things began to get interesting in my life. There were a couple of guys at the pizza place who were into drugs and they seemed to be having so much fun with it. One day I decided to ask if I could come hang out after work with the guys. They agreed and that night in December of 2006 I smoked weed again. It had such a powerful effect on me. I remember having short black outs and not being able to hold track of time. Although, something in me loved every second of it. I smoked one other time that week and then I went to Ohio for Christmas to spend it with my mom. I spoke to no one about what had happened, but while I was in Ohio I did slip some of my Mom's alcohol. After returning from Ohio I began to smoke weed every day. My habit picked up right where it left off before going to Washington. My parents had no idea what was going on and I kept quiet to most people at school and church about what was going on. Though, there were people around me who noticed what I was doing. Black circles were developing around my eyes and I became a much quieter person. I spent a few weeks in January that year coming to school stoned every few days. As it was getting closer to the end of the month Ecstasy was becoming popular around school. I had to try it. I had never had the opportunity in the past. I saved up some money from work and I bought two Ecstasy pills and some weed from a buddy. The next night I took the pills and smoked the weed. I was alone. I remember that night. It was horrible.

During that night I did not see anything that was not there, but I did hear things that were not going on. I remember hearing my parents yelling downstairs about calling the cops and then arguing that they wouldn't and they would just deal with me in the morning. Every time I would go out of my room to check if this argument was really going on or not there was silence. I could hear my dad snoring and the sound of their fan roaring. It was driving me crazy. Why was I hearing all of this? Finally the intense part of the high wore off and I went into my backyard, sat down and smoked cigarettes. While I was sitting down I tried to figure out what had just happened to me. I did not sleep that night. I got ready early the next morning and went to run sound for the 5th grade room at my church. I was extremely paranoid. It had to be obvious that I had been on drugs all night.

The next week I spent trying to figure out what was going on in my life. The Saturday night with the ecstasy had been terrifying. The following Sunday while I was at youth group I stayed after to talk with my small group leader. I told him everything that had been going on since December. I was done. I wanted to quit. He took me home that night and I went upstairs to get my weed so that he could get rid of it for me. He took me for a drive to talk about what I needed to do about my parents. After we talked he took me back home. That night I called my dad upstairs and told him everything. It was the most freeing moment of my life.

My parents did not get too angry at me. I made the decision to quit drugs for myself this time. It stuck. It made a huge difference that I chose to do this and not that someone else chose it for me.

I met some great friends during the last semester of Junior year. I attended a bible study called the Brotherhood and I remember that during those days in the Brotherhood I began to really see a relationship between myself and God. It was great. My family and I were happy and I had no struggles with drugs or alcohol. Finally I was experiencing freedom in my life and I have no one to thank other than God and His grace.

-----------------------

Guys,

When I went into this blog series of my life story I had no idea that it would continue to stretch out this long! I hope you are still on board with my story. I appreciate you all so much for taking the time to see where God has taken me and also what He has led me out of in my life. I am excited to tell you about the past two and a half years of my life in the posts to follow. They are exciting and I can't wait to relive them as I tell you about it! Please feel free to send me any questions, either on the blog comments box or through email/facebook! I would love to hear your story if you would like to share it!

Thanks!

-brett

me part trois.

I enjoyed my home schooling teacher. I probably did better in school those few months then any other time in my school career. I would like to think that during this time I tried to straighten out my life, but I was 13 or 14 and wanted to have fun. I spent time cleaning the house and there is something I will never forget about that: Leigh Anne had me clean all of the floor boards in the house one day; man was that fun. In the family we had problems. It seemed that all we would do is argue about, well, anything. I don't believe I was using too many drugs or drinking that much at this time; because I was so closely monitored.

After that summer I was able to go back to school and I would be beginning high school at Forsyth Central High School. After just a short while being in school I met a couple of people who were into what I was and I got quickly introduced back to weed. I was so eager to get high that I would try it while I was at school, it couldn't wait. I had a big mouth when I was in 9th grade and I wanted everyone to know that I did drugs, even if I wasn't doing them as much as I said. One day in health class I got some weed from one of my friends and made a make shift pipe to smoke out of. I took the pot and the pipe and headed to the bathroom. I got nervous and only took one hit and then went back to class. I acted stoned although I hadn't been. Over the next couple of days I showed people this "pipe" I had so that I would look cool. While I was sitting in science class one day the assistant principal came in to pull me out of class. He told me to bring all of my things with me. As we were walking to his office I fell behind a bit and dropped the "pipe" on the ground in attempt to not be busted. It didn't work. He heard the thump and I was done for.

After all of the tribunal and drug testing was over I was sentenced to attend Piedmont Learning Center for the remainder of my 9th grade year. While I was there I spent time drinking on the weekends when I could but not doing drugs because of the random drug testing. Although when I finally had the chance to, I did. During winter break I was able to get high and it was almost as if I met a long lost friend. I played it cool the rest of the year at Piedmont and made my way out of there.

During that year I made a decision that would forever change the way I felt about life. My family and I were still attending church and I was getting pretty into it. I loved the music. There was so much life in it and the feeling I got while they were singing was like nothing I had ever experienced. I remember one time at an event my dad and I would go to on Tuesday nights they sang "Marvelous Light" and it just made sense. There were a few things that took place around this time of my ninth grade year that lead me to make a decision. Accept Jesus Christ as the saviour and forgiver of my life or just say no to it. I chose yes. I was happy about it and I believe that it kept me away from the things that were hurting me. If only for a short while.

I actually think it was on the day of my baptism that I met him, who will not be named, but he would become my best friend the summer after ninth grade. While we were at church one day the two of us began to talk about what we liked to do and found out that we both were interested in weed. That evening I went to his house to hang out and found my "old friend" again. In a cow pasture while sitting in a tree I got high. It was the most amazing feeling I had felt up to that moment of my life. I loved every second of it and I NEVER wanted it to go away. I chose to spend a lot of time at his house that summer, and spent most of that time getting stoned. It was perfect. Life was great.

When school started in tenth grade I decided I wanted to start playing baseball again because it was something I enjoyed doing the few years before. I was out of the loop a little bit because of being in alternative school in 9th grade so I went to workouts after school. My friend who I got stoned with all summer long also played baseball. We talked our parents into letting us go to baseball workouts after school on Mondays and then I would go to Young Life with him and spend the night at his house. After Young Life we would stay up most of the night, do drugs and watch Dazed and Confused countless times. The weekends would begin with a Friday night smoke and it wasn't until Sunday morning that I would no longer be stoned. On Sundays I would go to church in the morning with the parents and then go to the youth group on Sunday afternoons. I had made some friends in my small group who I can still call my friends today. They never left my side through all the years of high school. No matter what I was doing. There I was, stuck with a crisis. Being a Christian and loving getting stoned.

Things began to fall apart in the house. I imagine my parents knew I was doing drugs before I knew that they knew. We would argue about all sorts of things. I remember one time that they did catch onto my drug use, and I was grounded. Although, one time I was able to go to hang out with my buddies who used as long as I didn't use. I promised and begged. Being the little s*^% that I was, I got more messed up that night than I ever had, after promising I wouldn't. It wasn't a bad thing to me, it is exactly what I wanted. Ever time I would use drugs the goal was to get higher and more stoned than the time before. The idea of being into heavy drugs was attractive to me. The problem was that I could only get my hands on pills and weed. It was cool though, smoking weed and listening to Pink Floyd, Sublime and Bob Marley was alright with me.

I remember having a conversation with my friend about Crystal Meth. "Dude, would you try it?"

"I don't know man, maybe, that stuff is pretty heavy."

Eventually he would try it. He told me about it and it sounded pretty alright. I asked him if the next time he had some if I could do it with him. He agreed. We got such a little bit for the both of us that it was almost worthless. I remember being at an old southern baptist church event that they put on each year, I believe the church was Oak Grove. We went into the bathroom and tried a little bit and it was so little that we felt no affects. Later that night we both snorted the rest and still felt little affects from it. But, we did it. We were happy about that. We became annoyed, we wanted more so we could really get high from it, but we couldn't get any. We chose to get my bowl and scrap it to try and get some of the residue from the previous weed that had been smoked in it. We spent a while smoking that and getting a little bit high. All in all, a pretty crappy night for us. We didn't sleep and I think my dad noticed that we looked a little rough the next morning.

I'm not sure what the timeline was, but not long after that I was introduced to a drug counselor. The same one from 8th grade. This time though, I would be joining their out patient drug treatment program. It was the first night that I had started and I was asked the question, "how long have you been clean?" I said well, "less than 24 hours, I got high last night." By the end of that night my parents and the counselors had found a nice in-patient drug rehabilitation center for me to go to in just a week, in Washington.

The next week I was taken out of school and slept at the foot of my parents bed every night until it was time time to go to rehab. I would listen to Pink Floyd at night, just trying to get that same feeling I got from weed, but it didn't compare. I was still able to smoke cigarettes which helped quite a bit.

In November of 2005 my dad and I got onto a plane to fly to Portland, Oregon so that we could drive to Yakima, Washington so that he could check me into my home for the next month; the youth drug addiction treatment at Sundown M. Ranch. http://www.sundown.org/

me. (some things cleared up)

This is a comment that Leigh Anne left on my previous blog post. It clears up some things that I missed in the information! Thanks Leigh Anne!

"You are remembering things pretty well. Our first trip to North Point Community Chuch I believe was Easter - the end of your 7th grade year. I think you started in Xtreme (Middle School environment at church) shortly after that. I remember wanting to go to the early service but you were already involved in the 10:30 - now 11:00 service - with your small group and we didn't want to move you. I think I'm seeing some stuff I really didn't know about - but suspected and didn't really want to think about now that it is over. The alchol drinking out of our supply was obviously going on way before we knew about it. There are a couple times where the RED flag should have been thrown up - and we didn't investigate those flags. I do know that your Mom's decision to let you live with your father was a huge deal and was probably one of the hardest things she ever did. That decision probably saved your life and maybe even your Dad and my life as well. That Easter - in the North Point bulletin was a preview of the next sermon series. Parent Guidance Required. We new we needed all the help we could get with and Kelly - we decided to "try" it for those 4 weeks. It stuck! All God's timing."

me part deux.

Alright, so now to pick up where I left off. I will say, there are many details that I could never remember, but please be forgiving. I will do my best.

While living with my mother I would visit my father during the summer with my sister. There was a time when I went there and came back to my mom's different. My mom and I were talking and I asked her a question, a loaded question. "Mom, I don't want you to say yes or no right now, but what if I moved in with Dad?" Now, I was ten at the time, I must have been pretty bold to ask my mom that, or there was something even bigger involved behind that question. Around this time my Dad was offered a job in Atlanta, Georgia and was going to move there with Leigh-Anne. My mom prayed about this decision and made the choice, by herself because my father and step-father left it up to her, I would be moving in with my dad that summer after my 4th grade year.

The three of us; Leigh-Anne, Dad and myself moved into a home in Forsyth County, Georgia in August of 2000. My fifth grade year went pretty well. I did well in my classes and for the first (and last) time I made it onto honor roll. I still had an anger problem and kids did think I was pretty weird. Although, I do remember making friends for the first time that wanted to spend time with me in this school year. Things were not too bad and I cannot remember much more about this time.

Onto middle school, some of the worst years of my life. My 6th grade year is when things started to really change. Leigh-Anne and I began to find arguing a common interest. Details are pretty fuzzy for 6th grade, although I do remember getting some detentions and the parents were not too happy about that. I also remember September 11 of that year. I didn't understand what was happening but I do remember that the school wouldn't tell us much about what was going on.

7th grade year is where I found something that would change me forever. Alcohol. I remember the first time I drank. It was vodka, and I loved it. The bite of the drink and the feelings that would come after a few shots was it for me. It was almost as if I found what I had wanted for a long time. I would only try this a few times in that year, because I would be stealing my parents alcohol which you cannot do too often. Although, my nicotine habit, that I gained between 6 and 7th grade, picked up and there was a gas station close to my school that did not mind selling smokeless tobacco and cigarettes to me and a couple of other buddies. It felt pretty awesome. People would rely on the few of us to supply them with cigarettes. Felt pretty good at 13.

8th grade is where things really became interesting. I had moved on from drinking just alcohol and found something that I was even more fond of; pot. Along with that I found an interest in the meds closet of our house. I would try many different pills to get different effects. While I was in 8th grade I began to have a friend base of people who used drugs. Together we did what was uncommon to 8th graders. About half way through the last semester of 8th grade a group of students, including myself, were expelled from school for having and taking pills on campus. My parents were not happy about this and it caused many arguments in the house. I was also taken to a drug therapist to see if I could get some help. I ended up being home schooled and ground for the remainder of that year.

While I was in 8th grade my parents and I began going to church. Remember earlier when I said that my mom created a habit in me to go to church? Well this is where it became really important. Up until then we did not attend church in Georgia. We were introduced to a church on easter of that year that I will forever be grateful for. My parents have not left since. Things got a little better, although there was still much arguing in the house.

I hope you are able to track with my story thus far. There is a lot of stuff to fit in and I am doing my best to tell you the majority of it! For now, this is where I am putting the story on pause! Remember, if you have any questions for me, facebook me or email me!

brettjamesshields@gmail.com

-brett

me.

I thought since I have some new followers of the blog that I would do some posts about who I am. I do need your participation though!

I would like to have you guys email me questions you would like to know; via email (BrettJamesShields@gmail.com) or facebook mail!

I will start with some basics.

I was born in Flint, Michigan on June 30th of 1990. At this point I was with my mother (Diane), father (Scott) and sister (Kelly). Not much to say about that point of my life. I imagine it consisted of crying, eating and pooping. When I was around 3 or 4 my family moved to Indiana for a short while, this lead up to my parents separation and my sister, mom and I moved to Ohio. This is where I would spend the next 7 years of my life. Along the way both my parents where remarried to who is now my step father (Dave) and step mother (Leigh Anne). In Ohio I gained a new brother (David) and another sister (Autumn). The years from k-4th grade are very blurry to me. I spent time having an anger problems and arguing often with my sisters. I did have quite an imagination as much as I can remember. I loved to play cars in my room and act as if I was one of the drivers. I would launch them on ramps and drive them in circles.

My family and I attended church on Sundays which to a kid of 4-10 is not too big of a deal. As I look back now, I am very grateful my mother consistently brought us to church. If any reason, it created in me a habit of going, which would play a big role in my life later on. I did have some school troubles at this time. I was first suspended from school in 3rd grade. I threatened another kid at school and apparently that wasn't the right thing to do! Yikes!

That brings me up to the age of 10. Like I mentioned, I do not remember too much. Only really what my parents tell me. I will make sure to continue on with my story in my next post. Until then; email me questions!

-brett

good news!

I'll be honest with you. When I went to read my Bible this morning I went into it hoping to feel better, for whatever reason. I woke up with little joy today. Now, this happens often, cannot explain it to you. I imagine it is the enemy's way of distracting me with my first thoughts of the day.

I decide to fall into Romans again this morning. I love this book, there is a lot of victory for the people of God proclaimed in it. These people of Rome were given over to sinful ways of life and chose to be this way. Although, Paul wrote this letter to them that has so much Truth in it.

Chapter three of Romans is where my attention became locked in with what Paul was writing. I am seeing so much in my life that God is the only righteous judge, because His judgement is based on Truth. God is a God of ALL people; believer, faithless, little faith, big faith and all other kinds of walks. It is so easy for me to judge people based on what I do in my own life; but if I judge people does this make me any better than the others whom I am judging? Absolutely not.

"This righteousness from God comes from through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." -Romans 3:22-24 (NIV)

Good news? GREAT news.

We are all equal in this life. The faithful in God and the faithless in God.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." -Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)

"Therefore there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." -Romans 8:1-2 (ESV)

I will come back to Romans 8 in a later post for more good news that Paul talks about. As for today? Think about that in every situation you go into, There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It may change your day a little bit.

under Grace.

"For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his." -Romans 6:5

Paul said many times to die to yourself and to let Christ live through you. I remember hearing this for the first time and loving every second of it. I thought, "Man, that life sounds fulfilling!" I have always been up for the idea of, "dying to self and living through Christ." That is just it though, I have always been "up for" the IDEA. I am beginning to understand that when Paul wrote the letters to the different churches and people of the new testament times that he didn't mean for this to be an idea. He was calling for a changed lifestyle. To really let Christ live through us.

Here's the truth, this is about a relationship. It is a different relationship than we could ever have with anyone. Christ died, then he rose again. He's not dead. There was a song at Passion this past weekend that has really stuck with me. The statement in the chorus of the song was this; "My God's not dead, He's surely alive and He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion."

Now, tell me again what relationships you have on earth like this with anyone? Not your mom, dad, sister, cousin, bros or girlfriends! It's amazing. It's not always easy though.

I struggle with the fact that I like the idea of this but don't always live it out. It's a calling each morning, afternoon and night to say God, I died with you on the cross. All of my sin, shame, guiltiness, transgressions and brokenness was nailed to a cross. Then, three days later when Christ rose out of the grave, I was with him again. This time I am considered holy and blameless in God's sight, through Christ. This is not an IDEA, it's truth and I want to celebrate because of it. Though I must try and live it out and not just think about living it out.

We are no longer enslaved by sin. (Romans 6:7) "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions." (Romans 6:12)

This is not Paul yelling at us to be better people. This is not God yelling at us to not sin anymore. It is simply a way to respond with thanks to God for what He has done. He knows what is best for us and He knows that sin is considered death in us. I come back to it again, it is a relationship. God is a dad who knows what is best for His children. He died and rose again all for His glory. His glory is what is best for us and I want to respond with praises and a life that shows the good things our Heavenly Father has said and done and continues to do.

Go, be blameless and holy in God's sight, not worrying about what the world is telling you. Do not let sin way you down. "For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under Grace." (Romans 6:14)

future.

It is a new decade! Hello to the next ten years of our lives!

Does anyone have a new year's resolution?

For the year 2010 I would like to read more books, and the main part of that would be to finish them! I got this idea from a dear friend and it is a great idea! I'm thinking of beginning with the Twilight series. Why not; it is a huge part of culture!

Passion 2010 begins tomorrow and I am now extremely excited for it. If you read previous posts I mentioned I was nervous about it; my mother and I had a great conversation a few nights ago and she help clear my mind and I was able to clean my slate with Jesus and allow him to meet me where I am at.

Yesterday I was reading "My Utmost For His Highest" and got a huge amount of peace. I would like to share with you what I got out of it. The message was about how we all have pasts and have done things that we can say are not the best things in the world. God has chosen to forgive us for these things. Not only has he forgiven us, but he is also choosing to go before us in our futures to ensure that we have something to lean on when we are tempted in the same areas again.

I got so excited while I was on my ten minute break at work. My thought was, "Wait, God you are going before me in my future?? You want to make sure that I get through it better next time? That is awesome!" I believe that as I see temptations like thinking negatively about things along with other temptations in my life I will be able to see them differently now; knowing that God has already been there AND prepared a way for me to get through it! I loved this.

Thank you for letting me share these things with you! Please pray for all of us attending Passion this week. 20,000+ people gathering together for His renown!!

Now it's time to go enjoy friendship, tea and great music. Happy New Year!

-brett

christ alone.

This is not something that I wrote. This is from a devotion I receive through email. I loved it and wanted to share it with you!

"Friday, January 01, 2010

A Resolution Worth Keeping by Jon Walker

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 (NIV) Today's Guest Devotional is from Jon Walker, author of 'Growing with Purpose.' If you're thinking about making some New Year's Resolutions, consider this one from The Apostle: "This year I resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified." Paul's message is radically simple: Salvation is in Christ alone. What does this mean? It's not Christ plus your good behavior. It's not Christ plus the years you taught a Bible study. It's not Christ plus your tithe. It's not Christ plus the church you attend. It's not Christ plus the number of verses you memorize. It's not Christ plus your title in the church. It's not Christ plus wisdom from the latest Christian seminar. It's not Christ plus a desert fast (or even a dessert fast!). It's not Christ plus a good driving record. It's not Christ plus well-behaved children. It's not Christ plus the right job. It's not Christ plus the right spouse. It's not Christ plus the latest technology. It's simply Christ. Christ plus nothing. That's a message that is as right throughout the coming year as it will be in 2999. May your new resolution for the year be nothing but Christ and him crucified." Happy New Year everyone! -brett