let it arise.

forgot the link

2011-01-19T10:44:00.001-05:00

www.thoughtsfiled.blogspot.com

^New Blog^

A NEW BLOG.

2010-12-02T19:17:00.006-05:00

I changed the google account behind my Blogger account and created a new blog.

Please come visit the and follow it!

Thanks

-brett

know.

2010-11-10T19:01:00.004-05:00

Find out more about who Jesus is.

Know Him first, you don't have to make any changes to accept Jesus.

Allow Him to change you through His Holy Spirit.

"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person -- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die -- but God shows His love for us in that while we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:7-8

slow down.

2010-11-08T10:20:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling the pressure of this culture.
The go-go-go mentality that we Americans thrive on.
I can't keep up friends.

Can't we all just slow down?

Identity.

2010-11-05T10:27:00.003-04:00

Over the past year and a half I have been challenged quite a bit. I’ve learned a lot about myself and have learned how to understand more about others. Nobody “has to be” someone for others. It’s okay to be who you are and at the place you are in life. There doesn’t have to be gossip about others but more so that it is okay to confront others, with good intentions, and discuss problems through. I have struggled with this for myself, in that; I’m not ALWAYS comfortable in my own skin. I have yet to meet someone that is comfortable at all times in his or her skin.

The good news, it is possible, it’s all about your identity though. If you are always trying to find your identity in yourself or things of the culture, you will never find that peace. On most days I struggle to find that peace. I’ll admit it, I don’t think highly of myself and I am aware of it. I’m also aware that I can think highly of myself without the ego of being prideful.
Who or what is it that I am finding my identity in? Sometimes it is a pretty girl that I meet, over thinking the situation of what it “could” be. Other times it is what my culture has to offer me; nicotine addictions, lust, greed, over eating, coffee, working out to look better rather then to be healthy, etc.

I’ve been reading about the first days of the church recently out of the book of Acts in the Bible. It has been an exercise, which is reading even when I could care less about it. Though, I have noticed something in reading. There are men that are going around to many regions of the world and are sharing with people a new identity that they could have. Just like our culture is now the cultures then were no different. Over feeding themselves, being drunk, having sex outside of marriage, cheating on spouses and finding identity in how much money they had. Sound like a lot of the issues in the world today?
These men of the early church were very sad to see this happening and they wanted to share the one thing that they found peace in, something other than what their culture had for them.

Not long before these men set out to the world a man had died and rose from the dead claiming that he was God in the flesh and that he had life that would go on forever to offer to those who believe. I’m sure you know who I am talking about, those of you living in the South you’ve probably known the story of this man, Jesus, for as long as you can remember. At that time though, the people didn’t understand who Jesus was and when they heard often they had rage toward the idea of God in flesh. This is what the men of Acts devoted their life too, telling people about this man.

How is it that one could find their identity in someone who had claimed to be God in the flesh? Does that even make sense? Isn’t it all about self-help?

The men of Acts inspire me beyond belief. They were not ashamed in their identity because they knew that their identity was no longer in themselves.

I am not there yet, but I would love to get to a place in my life where the chains of addiction, lust, pride, greed and others of like do not attract me. It isn’t going to be a self-help book, prescribed medicine, marriage, a big church, lots of talent, fame, money or a big house that will get me there. It’s going to be more similar to these men that I am writing about. A life devoted to Jesus Christ, not Brett Shields.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
- Out of a letter to the Churches of Galatia from a man named Paul

Romans 8:1

2010-07-19T08:19:00.000-04:00

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Time For Change

2010-07-13T10:46:00.003-04:00

With as many thoughts that cycle through my head in one day, it is time to get them out on paper. The necessity of "emptying" my brain out is for the cause of getting stale, nasty and overwhelming thoughts out in order that the truth in there can reign above all else. With God as my all, joy will begin for the great things God has blessed me with.

Almost every morning I wake up and already I feel defeated, discouraged and sad about my life. The TRUTH is, I have a great life and have absolutely NO reason to be sad. I am getting in the way of my self and I have had enough of it. The great thing about this season is that I am learning a ton about who God is. I believe though, that my heart is not wholly believing these things that I am learning. If my heart was obtaining the truth that my head is gaining my life would look drastically different.

Alright, so what is it that I am going to change?

I have no idea...

Lord?

I will start with 3 truths:

1. God, I know you are for me. (Romans 8:31)
2. God, You are with me... NO matter what.
3. God, I am MORE than a conqueror and nothing
can separate me from You and Your love
because of Jesus. (Romans 8:37-39)

breaking down.

2010-04-26T10:54:00.003-04:00

It's okay..

to make changes in your life.

to be moved by a sermon, song or story that you hear.

to cry because God challenges you by someone elses words.

to feel convicted about actions you do or do not take.

to mess up, get dirty and drown out.

to have problems.

[everyone's broken]

the truth is.

2010-03-22T10:21:00.004-04:00

am I choosing to get lost in Jesus?

am I choosing sin and flesh over righteousness and life?

am I complaining because the things that I want in life don't go exactly how I want?

am I loving certain things AND people because I want it/them or because God wants me to want these things?

am I being bold about Christ?

do I not care about people enough to share with them the truth of eternal life that they could have?

I'm glad I have a savior because most days, the truth is, I do things that I hate. Sin.

you.

2010-03-03T07:49:00.005-05:00

I used to like posting lyrics of songs everywhere; on my blog, facebook status', text messages, etc. I've come to think that it is pretty cheesy to do that! But, for the last few days I have had a song stuck in my head that is almost %100 what I have been feeling, which is why I think it is stuck in my head. The coolest part about the song is that it has become a prayer of mine and I would love to share it with you. It is a beautiful song.

Stop the press, everything's a mess,
You can look alive, but you are not at rest.
And i-ideas are flowing through your head,
A million miles an hour while lying in your bed.
A lucid life you never thought you'd lead.
Are you working everyday?
Are you working just to bleed?
I know.

You're staring at the names of the famed that are dipped in gold
The feeling you deserve what you've heard
But it doesn't go away.

Oh, the tongues of men and angels
I speak but lack love.
Oh, love, will I stab you in the back?
Working everyday,
I'm afraid I forgot to show what's most important: love.

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don't want it anymore
If it's not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don't wanna fall from your peace

Have you ever been the man that just ran
When you knew that God was talking?
Have you ever heard his voice through the noise
But just let it go away?

Oh, the tongues of men and angels
I speak but lack love.
Oh, love, will I stab you in the back?
Working everyday,
I'm afraid I forgot to show what's most important: love.

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don't want it anymore
If it's not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don't wanna fall from your peace

A heart at rest is harder now
Don't let it go away
A hard earned pay, a hard earned pain
Right now they're just the same
What's the use, why work so hard
When it's not what you crave
When what you need is: love.

Here I am, dear Lord, tasting hints of fame
And I don't want it anymore
If it's not you that I gain
Wanna fall at your feet
Don't wanna fall from your peace

Of Men and Angels, The Rocket Summer

that's today...

2010-03-01T16:19:00.003-05:00

...March 1.

Goals for this month..

* See if God wants me to stay at Starbucks; and if I don't stay, create a resume in order to get a job at a different coffee shop.

* Get on track financially; resort back to the budget that I was once on, so that like in the month of February if I have to spend 300 dollars on something like my car, it won't hurt.

* Figure out how to focus my mind. In the month of February I could not handle it most days. Mind has been ready to explode.

* Continue praying for those that I have been and more that come to mind.

* Above all else.. continue pursuing God; allowing Him to mold me.

-brett

call and response.

2010-02-27T11:27:00.004-05:00

Psalm 25:11 "For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great."

1 John 2:12 "...your sins are forgiven for his name's sake."

i want to KNOW.

2010-02-25T09:35:00.003-05:00

Some of you know that for the past 6 months I have been pursuing playing drums. It has been an incredible time for the most part, I have been able to grow so much as a drummer and I feel blessed when I sit down to think about it, because honestly I had no idea a year ago that it would go this far. I don't bring it up on the blog often because I never know what to say about it. I have a lot on my mind with it and I was listening to a new Rocket Summer song and it made me think about one of the more upsetting sides of playing.

I often find it hard to let go and worship when I am playing (by the way, I play for churches as a drummer). It is something that has been frustrating. I often find myself just playing to prove my "skills" to the people I am playing with. This really gets in the way of worshipping God. The music scene, in and outside of the church, has a lot of pressure of who you know and how good you "kill it" on your instrument.

I understand that you need to be able to play your instrument well, but why is there so much judgement if someone is not great at their instrument. Don't we all start somewhere? If I play with someone who is not so great at an instrument I have to remind myself that we all grow as musicians and not everyone is on the same level. If you consistently are playing you consistently will be getting better. There will always be someone who is better at what they play than you or them. Often, the best musicians are the best because they have years of experience.

Years of experience. Which means to me, that playing music is not a race. It's not about how fast you can get better than the next person. I am learning to enjoy the pace of gaining experience. It's fun, and when I stumble on my face while playing, I learn what not to do next time.

I'm not saying that it is not important to get better at your instrument. That is very important. I also believe it is important to practice, practice and then practice more. I think that at any level of a musician that practice is still important. Music is so amazing because you can never stop learning. It's beautiful because it is more than just knowing how to play an instrument. It also includes how to transition from song to song, where to play and not play within a song, if you play with a click track you learn how to play within the timing that is before you, you learn how to work with the other musicians on stage and being able to create energy that feeds off to the crowd you are before is a HUGE thing.

I want to take it at a good pace and allow God to work in me what his will is. I will let God be the promoter. A good friend once told me, "God is the God of promotion."

And, when I am tempted to meet people just so that I have a good list of "who I know" I will do my best to remember the lyric I stumbled across in the Rocket Summer song... "cause it's all about who you know, and not about if you really KNOW anyone."

I want to KNOW the people that I know, not just "know" people.

-brett

make someone's day.

2010-02-22T10:09:00.002-05:00

"Life is not about any particular achievement or experience. The most important task of your life is not what you do, but who you become." - John Ortberg

Every day we are given the opportunity to do good for others and for ourselves. A lot of the time we get scared to do these things. It is often easier to just not do it because we are in a hurry to get to this place or to do that thing. Sometimes we don't do those things because we talk ourselves out of it because we don't want to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. I often spend time avoiding people because I do not want to leave my comfort zone. The truth is... we are all created to do good works.

I lose track of that because I am busy consuming myself with well, myself. It's almost as if I am too good to help others. I talk myself out of doing a good task by telling myself, "It's okay, things will work out for that person." But, what if you were the one who could help this other person get back on there feet, whether it be literally helping someone up or just talking to someone for 5 minutes.

I have to be honest with myself right now, I'm not TOO good to help someone else. Truth is, it is because of my desire to live for myself that I often don't help others. I get so wrapped up in what the point of my life is that I lose track of what the point of my life is. My thoughts of "flourishing" my life for the glory of God are so self-centered that the actual flourishing of my life is choked and slowed up quite a bit.

What step needs to be taken? First step for me would be to stop believing the lies that the world feeds me. That I'm the most important thing in my life. That things will work out for others and I don't have to help them. Lastly, that I'm not strong enough or good enough to help people. These lies are what can choke flourishing in my life.

And, the best way to stop believing lies would be... ?

The best way to stop believing lies is to replace the lies with actual truths. In order to flourish into the best version of yourself that you can be, you must first receive life from outside of yourself. God has in mind for you the full potential of what you can be. Let me tell you a "secret," He is guiding you towards that full potential all of the time, and He is not in any particular hurry. (paraphrased from something John Ortberg wrote) Once you receive this life from outside of yourself, you become VERY capable and not discouraged to help others. It actually becomes natural and you no longer are helping others so that YOU can look good.

This is something I want to work towards. I want to become God's best version of myself. This is the most rewarding way to have your life unfold. God's version of us is the most beautiful thing I could ever believe. Also something else, it is contagious. You have been around the type of people who have extremely flourishing lives, you often leave them challenged to try harder and love more. It's almost as if for a moment you were infected by their life. The coolest part about these people is that their intentions aren't to make you feel jealous of what they have, it's simply that they have chosen to work towards the best version of themselves they can be. So, when you are challenged by that, accept the challenge. What's the worst that could happen? You might make someone's day better. Sucks, right?

nah.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. which God prepared in advance for us to do."

-Ephesians 2:10

for everyone.

2010-02-19T09:06:00.003-05:00

Do you know about those nights when you think your head is going to explode? Sometimes it can be that you are having horrible thoughts and you cannot get away from them; other times it is because you are so full of joy that you might actually explode. Yeah, those are the nights that I am talking about. Well, last night was one of those nights for me. Oh, and it was the latter one of those two situations.

Our church had their quarterly night of worship last night at the Alpharetta campus and I am so happy that I attended this. The choice of songs was the best I have been a part of yet in the 5 years of attending. The band was phenomenal, in my opinion the best of the best that our church has to offer were up there playing those songs as if they were born to play just those songs. They played a lot of the songs off of our church's most recent live album titled, "Awake." I am going to post a link so that you guys can find a way to get a hold of this album, it's AMAZING.

Aside from the awesome band, the awesome stage and the awesome set list of songs another reason it was such a great night was the group that I was attending this event with. I was able to worship with the people who mean most to me. I realized that last night how much some of my friends are beginning to really mean a lot to me. I've always been pretty good at spending time alone and so a lot of the time I can only have surface relationships with friends. I think it is time for me to really pursue my friends, but most of all let them pursue me. My father was also standing next to me, he is someone that I have always been able to worship with.

Throughout the night as we were singing I kept thinking of some scripture. It was blowing my mind as I really thought about it....

For while we were STILL weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die - but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

+Romans 5:6-8

That is for everyone. If you don't even know God, that is about you. It's about me, it's about Justin Timberlake and President Obama. Our pastor last night said this, "your sin and my sin qualifies us for God's forgiveness," it is the common bond between every human on this earth. We are all qualified to be forgiven at any moment in our life.

As you go to church or spend time around some Christian that you may work with or have class with see what they have to say about God's forgiveness. If you are a Christian, prepare yourself to be asked this question at any moment. Understand why you choose to believe that you are forgiven by God. And always be willing to share this forgiveness with someone, it is meant for everyone....

For there is no distinction: for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..

... and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

+Romans 3:22-224

Link for NP Live Album: Awake -

http://resources.northpoint.org/store/shop.do?cID=64&pID=1910

Album is also on iTunes! North Point Live:Awake

for others?

2010-02-17T09:48:00.007-05:00

...sometimes the best thing to do for others is to bring them to God in your prayers. And if you don't exactly know what they need prayer for, God knows.

For we do not know what to pray for as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

-Romans 8:26

monday nights.

2010-02-16T08:30:00.005-05:00

Good morning! On each of the last two monday nights my dad and I have gone out to eat. Just the two of us, talking. I do feel bad because I probably talk too much and don't leave any space for him to be, well.. the dad. I'm sure over the next few Monday night dinners we have I will learn how to shut up and listen to him.

There is a book that my dad has been reading that he offered for me to begin reading as well; so that we could go through it together. I'm glad he asked me because I have been wondering recently if I need to be doing a study with some close guy friends. How much cooler is it going to be doing a study with my dad though?

This book that we will be going through is written by John Ortberg and it is titled, "ME: the me I want to be >>becoming God's best version of you." Let me just say, I am very open and excited about what will come out of doing a study with my father. He is always so calm, relaxed and realistic. Things I often struggle with.

And so on this 20 degree morning and my only day off from work this week, I will begin with "Part one: finding my identity" and see what's going on in this book. I will get back to you guys soon!

Have a great day!

- brett

weakness.

2010-02-15T08:50:00.002-05:00

Romans 8:26-30

Truth

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Hope

And we know that those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."

sunk.

2010-02-09T09:12:00.003-05:00

Lately.. I've been going crazy. My thoughts are getting the best of me and I can't seem to catch up with myself. I am quite exhausted and I believe it is directly related to my thoughts. This happens to me all too often, I over think and worry about EVERYTHING. I do think this is a challenge I will deal with for a long time.

But you know what? I don't want to deal with this. It is far too annoying and far too tiring. It seems almost impossible for me to relax and just enjoy the great things that are right in front of me.

Last night my dad and I went out to eat and I remember thinking how cool it was. It is not that in the past I haven't enjoyed being around him and my family, it is just that last night I finally realized how important family can and should be for me. I know that I have good friends around me and people that care about me, but I don't feel like I deserve it. I am always unable to return the love to them that they show towards me.

So, what should I do? I have no idea. I just hope this anxiousness that is sitting on me would relieve, even just for a full day. I need to learn how to have more fun. Stop over thinking everything and just kind of go with the flow of life. In the process of learning this I hope I don't push the most important people to me, away from me.

I watched this video just a few minutes ago and I think it may be something awesome for me and I want to share it with you. It's Francis Chan speaking about taking risks.

Enjoy!

-brett

me. finale.

2010-01-27T08:10:00.004-05:00

God remained faithful through the first 16 years of my life, before I ever gave Him credit or acknowledged Him for who he is. He brought our family through a very hard time. We were lead divinely to exactly the right place so that we could meet with the exactly the right people that could help. I am amazed as I am typing this how much He kept us safe in His arms; though we didn't notice.

In June/July during the summer in between my Junior and Senior year of high school I went on my very first trip to a place that is very close to my heart: Estonia. It was only an 11 day trip, but it was incredible. I was so free while I was there. I acted a little crazier and dropped a lot of the nerves I tend to get around people. It was a great experience.

After returning it would soon be time to start my Senior year high school. I can remember Leigh Anne always joking about how we can't believe I made it that far, alive. No, never because we were worried of an overdose or car wreck even; simply because Leigh Anne wanted to kill me during those first 6 years in Georgia. I am glad she didn't though, I'm not sure what she would do without my messy room or smart comments I tend to make.

Anyhow, I was anxious for senior year to fly by and luckily I was on work program. I was able to leave school before 12:00 each day. It was like a dream come true. I started off my senior year as one of the leaders for FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). From the beginning this was a struggle; seeing that I wasn't an athlete it was hard to gear the messages and themes towards athletes.

In my junior year I began to mess around on drums a little bit. When I was in 7th grade I made the best decision in band class to switch from the ever so manly clarinet to the percussion side of the world. I never knew how important of a decision I made right then. Some of the other leaders at FCA wanted to start a band that could lead worship, they asked me to play drums. I agreed and I was pretty horrible. I had never really learned how to play. I hadn't played much since middle school and it was so difficult the first time we played. I did enjoy it though.

Over the remainder of Senior year I joined a band with some really good buddies of mine. The original name of the band was "Blueberry Jam" and our claim to fame is a cover of "Mountain Jam" by the Allman Brothers, although we changed the name to "Sawnee Mountain Jam." For those of you that live in Forsyth, you should understand.

Most of the time we would just mess around at Joel's house (one of the guitarist) for hours, managing to play two MAYBE three songs in that time. We enjoyed to drag out guitar solos, change the tempo of songs and build it up real big at the end. It was great time. We played a few shows that year and people seemed to enjoy us for the most part. While I was playing with these guys and also playing with FCA I realized that I really enjoy drums. I started practicing on my own time and then would go and play for hours with The Revival (the new name for Blueberry Jam). It was cool to become a drummer again.

I made it through my senior year and during that time Estonia slipped back into my life. I was asked to come back to Estonia for a full summer after my Senior year and along with me my buddy Scott was also asked. He was much quicker to say yes than I was. There were a few things in my life that I was not so willing to give up, but as soon as I did I sent the email to Chris Brock asking if I could come.

After graduation was over and the festivities that follow, Scott and I boarded a plane for a two month journey in Estonia. That summer was the most eye opening summer I ever experienced. God made himself so known to me. He made it so clear that I could have a relationship with him and be closer than I was before. He showed me that He can work through me and use me to bring glory to his name. He taught me that things can get tough but to trust in him and he would carry me and the team I was working with through those times. I could spend 15 blog posts on just that summer in Estonia alone, so I will move on.

In August just after returning from Estonia I gained my current job at Starbucks. It has treated me well over the last year and a half. Sometime between August and January of 2008, my friend Nick asked me to come play drums at the youth group he was playing at the time. I remember being so nervous about it. I had to learn to play live with a click track (metronome) and also to play something that was not as improvised a jam band music. I made it through it alive and they kept calling me back. I was amazed, I hadn't decided that I wanted to continue playing drums when I got back from Estonia, in fact it had almost been time to close up that part of life. Though, I got the call. Over the following months I got much better at playing with a click track and I learned many new things about drumming and worship music. I had moved away from jam band music and moved into my favorite type of music.

During the end of 2008 and beginning of 2009 I spent time thinking about whether or not I wanted to return to Estonia for another summer. I ended up making the decision that I would. I raised the support and was getting ready to head back to Estonia in June of 2009. The only thing I was nervous about this time around was, am I still going to be able to play drums when I get back?

There I was heading back to Estonia for two and half months. This past summer was the most amazing time I have ever experienced with God. In the summer past, He showed me this close relationship I could have with him. In the most recent visit to Estonia He showed me how faithful and TRUE his word is. I learned a lot about the Bible in this past summer. I learned a ton about how God worked between the Old Testament and New Testament of the Bible. There were so many themes through His word that I was beginning to see and how everything was always leading up to the birth of Jesus. It was incredible, I fell in love with Estonia last summer. So much so that I began speaking about leaving the states for some time to live there. This desire is still in my heart, but it is all in God's time.

Since returning in August I have spent a lot of time with friends. This has been a struggle because sometimes I am not the most loving and compassionate person, especially if I am in a bad mood. God has showed me this in the last couple of months. It is becoming my "thing" to work on in 2010. The verse "Let your love be genuine" in Romans snuck up on me a week ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it.

Other than working at Starbucks and spending time with friends, there has been drums. I never dreamed drums would even go as far as it has now. It continues to grow though. I have seen God in it a lot. I am enjoy each time I get behind a drum set more and more. As far as my future goes in Estonia, I am unsure. Right now I am following my dream.

I can't complain about life right now. I have people in my life that I have never cared so much about anyone else. I struggle to show them sometimes, but it is in me. My prayer this year is to grow into loving relationships with the people in my life. Drop the sassy part of me and to let my love be genuine. I cannot do this without God. I have to allow him to work through me and step out of His way.

I hope you have enjoyed seeing the journey God has taken me and my family on. Please forgive anything that is not grammatically correct. There were many thoughts I was trying to get out! I am looking forward to sharing more on the blog about God and what he is teaching me. I hope it can bless you, as I would love see this Blog only for His glory. Go, enjoy your day and we can catch up soon.

Thank you,

brett

me part quatre.

2010-01-19T20:30:00.003-05:00

The next 28 days of my life would be a lonely healing time. Two times a day I would be in groups of others who struggled with drugs and alcohol like myself. In some cases worse than mine and others not as severe. It was interesting though; when you put a group of recovering addicts together there is a temptation to have a better drug story than the other. It was almost like you got some "fix" out of reliving your drug past.

I don't remember too much of this time spent in there other than it being very lonely. I spent thanksgiving without family that year. It was very tough to be able to only speak to your parents once a week for a chosen length of time. While I was there I received letters from some people. The people who sent me letters were the guys from my small group, family and others at church. I am now realizing how awesome it was to get those letters from them. I remember getting a letter from my friend Elizabeth while I was there; she sent me a small metal cross and words of encouragement. It meant a lot to me, I had gone pretty far from the "faith" that I found in 9th grade.

On the last weekend I was in treatment we had to do counseling as a family. Those three days were some of the toughest times we had together as a family. I had to reveal every thought, action and drug I had ever done, to my parents during those days. It was extremely tough on Leigh Anne. I remember her saying, "how am I ever going to let you back into my home and how am I ever going to trust you again?" That is a real statement and very powerful. It was true though; after all of the hateful things I'd done and all the money I took from my parents, how were they going to trust me again?

After the three days were over I was released from treatment and the three of us as a family went to spend a few days in Seattle. It was pretty awesome there. For a long time I wanted to move to Seattle later in my life. After we left Seattle I flew to Indiana to spend some time with Jack and Nancy (Leigh Anne's parents) for the days leading up until my parents got there for Christmas. While I was there, before Dad and Leigh Anne got into town, I spent a couple of nights drinking cough syrup and taking pills I had found in the bathroom cabinet in attempt to get high. I had relapsed, just days after leaving treatment. I did not get caught for this and decided I would not tell anyone this had happened.

After returning to Atlanta after Christmas I began to go back to school and also went back to the Out-Patient drug treatment place I had attended before being sent to Washington. I would spend the next 6 months going to treatment three nights a week for 3 hours each time. I also attended 1-3 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings a week during this time. I will forever be grateful for one of my counselors there named Ashley. Ashley had a way of digging deep into your emotions and head and opening them up. After crying at the realization he had pulled out, the two of us would begin to stitch the wound back up and leave it in the past. These months of being in treatment were very painful and growing for my family and I. After the six months were over and I graduated from Out-Patient treatment my family and I had a sense of trust in the home. I did end up telling everyone about my relapse that I had a few days after treatment, 4 months after it had happened. This is really were I began to see progress in my life. After I told that secret I had nothing else to hide from Dad and Leigh Anne.

During this time I really focused on Church and God. I fell in love with God and I enjoyed helping out at the church. I surrounded myself with great friends whom were great to have around. I made it through my 10th grade year and the summer after and was excited for my junior year. I worked my first job during my junior year; Mama Leo's pizza. I had a girlfriend from tenth grade into eleventh grade who was great to have around. Things were going great!

Shortly after my girlfriend at the time and I broke up things began to get interesting in my life. There were a couple of guys at the pizza place who were into drugs and they seemed to be having so much fun with it. One day I decided to ask if I could come hang out after work with the guys. They agreed and that night in December of 2006 I smoked weed again. It had such a powerful effect on me. I remember having short black outs and not being able to hold track of time. Although, something in me loved every second of it. I smoked one other time that week and then I went to Ohio for Christmas to spend it with my mom. I spoke to no one about what had happened, but while I was in Ohio I did slip some of my Mom's alcohol. After returning from Ohio I began to smoke weed every day. My habit picked up right where it left off before going to Washington. My parents had no idea what was going on and I kept quiet to most people at school and church about what was going on. Though, there were people around me who noticed what I was doing. Black circles were developing around my eyes and I became a much quieter person. I spent a few weeks in January that year coming to school stoned every few days. As it was getting closer to the end of the month Ecstasy was becoming popular around school. I had to try it. I had never had the opportunity in the past. I saved up some money from work and I bought two Ecstasy pills and some weed from a buddy. The next night I took the pills and smoked the weed. I was alone. I remember that night. It was horrible.

During that night I did not see anything that was not there, but I did hear things that were not going on. I remember hearing my parents yelling downstairs about calling the cops and then arguing that they wouldn't and they would just deal with me in the morning. Every time I would go out of my room to check if this argument was really going on or not there was silence. I could hear my dad snoring and the sound of their fan roaring. It was driving me crazy. Why was I hearing all of this? Finally the intense part of the high wore off and I went into my backyard, sat down and smoked cigarettes. While I was sitting down I tried to figure out what had just happened to me. I did not sleep that night. I got ready early the next morning and went to run sound for the 5th grade room at my church. I was extremely paranoid. It had to be obvious that I had been on drugs all night.

The next week I spent trying to figure out what was going on in my life. The Saturday night with the ecstasy had been terrifying. The following Sunday while I was at youth group I stayed after to talk with my small group leader. I told him everything that had been going on since December. I was done. I wanted to quit. He took me home that night and I went upstairs to get my weed so that he could get rid of it for me. He took me for a drive to talk about what I needed to do about my parents. After we talked he took me back home. That night I called my dad upstairs and told him everything. It was the most freeing moment of my life.

My parents did not get too angry at me. I made the decision to quit drugs for myself this time. It stuck. It made a huge difference that I chose to do this and not that someone else chose it for me.

I met some great friends during the last semester of Junior year. I attended a bible study called the Brotherhood and I remember that during those days in the Brotherhood I began to really see a relationship between myself and God. It was great. My family and I were happy and I had no struggles with drugs or alcohol. Finally I was experiencing freedom in my life and I have no one to thank other than God and His grace.

-----------------------

Guys,

When I went into this blog series of my life story I had no idea that it would continue to stretch out this long! I hope you are still on board with my story. I appreciate you all so much for taking the time to see where God has taken me and also what He has led me out of in my life. I am excited to tell you about the past two and a half years of my life in the posts to follow. They are exciting and I can't wait to relive them as I tell you about it! Please feel free to send me any questions, either on the blog comments box or through email/facebook! I would love to hear your story if you would like to share it!

Thanks!

-brett

me part trois.

2010-01-17T22:10:00.002-05:00

I enjoyed my home schooling teacher. I probably did better in school those few months then any other time in my school career. I would like to think that during this time I tried to straighten out my life, but I was 13 or 14 and wanted to have fun. I spent time cleaning the house and there is something I will never forget about that: Leigh Anne had me clean all of the floor boards in the house one day; man was that fun. In the family we had problems. It seemed that all we would do is argue about, well, anything. I don't believe I was using too many drugs or drinking that much at this time; because I was so closely monitored.

After that summer I was able to go back to school and I would be beginning high school at Forsyth Central High School. After just a short while being in school I met a couple of people who were into what I was and I got quickly introduced back to weed. I was so eager to get high that I would try it while I was at school, it couldn't wait. I had a big mouth when I was in 9th grade and I wanted everyone to know that I did drugs, even if I wasn't doing them as much as I said. One day in health class I got some weed from one of my friends and made a make shift pipe to smoke out of. I took the pot and the pipe and headed to the bathroom. I got nervous and only took one hit and then went back to class. I acted stoned although I hadn't been. Over the next couple of days I showed people this "pipe" I had so that I would look cool. While I was sitting in science class one day the assistant principal came in to pull me out of class. He told me to bring all of my things with me. As we were walking to his office I fell behind a bit and dropped the "pipe" on the ground in attempt to not be busted. It didn't work. He heard the thump and I was done for.

After all of the tribunal and drug testing was over I was sentenced to attend Piedmont Learning Center for the remainder of my 9th grade year. While I was there I spent time drinking on the weekends when I could but not doing drugs because of the random drug testing. Although when I finally had the chance to, I did. During winter break I was able to get high and it was almost as if I met a long lost friend. I played it cool the rest of the year at Piedmont and made my way out of there.

During that year I made a decision that would forever change the way I felt about life. My family and I were still attending church and I was getting pretty into it. I loved the music. There was so much life in it and the feeling I got while they were singing was like nothing I had ever experienced. I remember one time at an event my dad and I would go to on Tuesday nights they sang "Marvelous Light" and it just made sense. There were a few things that took place around this time of my ninth grade year that lead me to make a decision. Accept Jesus Christ as the saviour and forgiver of my life or just say no to it. I chose yes. I was happy about it and I believe that it kept me away from the things that were hurting me. If only for a short while.

I actually think it was on the day of my baptism that I met him, who will not be named, but he would become my best friend the summer after ninth grade. While we were at church one day the two of us began to talk about what we liked to do and found out that we both were interested in weed. That evening I went to his house to hang out and found my "old friend" again. In a cow pasture while sitting in a tree I got high. It was the most amazing feeling I had felt up to that moment of my life. I loved every second of it and I NEVER wanted it to go away. I chose to spend a lot of time at his house that summer, and spent most of that time getting stoned. It was perfect. Life was great.

When school started in tenth grade I decided I wanted to start playing baseball again because it was something I enjoyed doing the few years before. I was out of the loop a little bit because of being in alternative school in 9th grade so I went to workouts after school. My friend who I got stoned with all summer long also played baseball. We talked our parents into letting us go to baseball workouts after school on Mondays and then I would go to Young Life with him and spend the night at his house. After Young Life we would stay up most of the night, do drugs and watch Dazed and Confused countless times. The weekends would begin with a Friday night smoke and it wasn't until Sunday morning that I would no longer be stoned. On Sundays I would go to church in the morning with the parents and then go to the youth group on Sunday afternoons. I had made some friends in my small group who I can still call my friends today. They never left my side through all the years of high school. No matter what I was doing. There I was, stuck with a crisis. Being a Christian and loving getting stoned.

Things began to fall apart in the house. I imagine my parents knew I was doing drugs before I knew that they knew. We would argue about all sorts of things. I remember one time that they did catch onto my drug use, and I was grounded. Although, one time I was able to go to hang out with my buddies who used as long as I didn't use. I promised and begged. Being the little s*^% that I was, I got more messed up that night than I ever had, after promising I wouldn't. It wasn't a bad thing to me, it is exactly what I wanted. Ever time I would use drugs the goal was to get higher and more stoned than the time before. The idea of being into heavy drugs was attractive to me. The problem was that I could only get my hands on pills and weed. It was cool though, smoking weed and listening to Pink Floyd, Sublime and Bob Marley was alright with me.

I remember having a conversation with my friend about Crystal Meth. "Dude, would you try it?"

"I don't know man, maybe, that stuff is pretty heavy."

Eventually he would try it. He told me about it and it sounded pretty alright. I asked him if the next time he had some if I could do it with him. He agreed. We got such a little bit for the both of us that it was almost worthless. I remember being at an old southern baptist church event that they put on each year, I believe the church was Oak Grove. We went into the bathroom and tried a little bit and it was so little that we felt no affects. Later that night we both snorted the rest and still felt little affects from it. But, we did it. We were happy about that. We became annoyed, we wanted more so we could really get high from it, but we couldn't get any. We chose to get my bowl and scrap it to try and get some of the residue from the previous weed that had been smoked in it. We spent a while smoking that and getting a little bit high. All in all, a pretty crappy night for us. We didn't sleep and I think my dad noticed that we looked a little rough the next morning.

I'm not sure what the timeline was, but not long after that I was introduced to a drug counselor. The same one from 8th grade. This time though, I would be joining their out patient drug treatment program. It was the first night that I had started and I was asked the question, "how long have you been clean?" I said well, "less than 24 hours, I got high last night." By the end of that night my parents and the counselors had found a nice in-patient drug rehabilitation center for me to go to in just a week, in Washington.

The next week I was taken out of school and slept at the foot of my parents bed every night until it was time time to go to rehab. I would listen to Pink Floyd at night, just trying to get that same feeling I got from weed, but it didn't compare. I was still able to smoke cigarettes which helped quite a bit.

In November of 2005 my dad and I got onto a plane to fly to Portland, Oregon so that we could drive to Yakima, Washington so that he could check me into my home for the next month; the youth drug addiction treatment at Sundown M. Ranch. http://www.sundown.org/

me. (some things cleared up)

2010-01-16T18:24:00.002-05:00

This is a comment that Leigh Anne left on my previous blog post. It clears up some things that I missed in the information! Thanks Leigh Anne!

"You are remembering things pretty well. Our first trip to North Point Community Chuch I believe was Easter - the end of your 7th grade year. I think you started in Xtreme (Middle School environment at church) shortly after that. I remember wanting to go to the early service but you were already involved in the 10:30 - now 11:00 service - with your small group and we didn't want to move you. I think I'm seeing some stuff I really didn't know about - but suspected and didn't really want to think about now that it is over. The alchol drinking out of our supply was obviously going on way before we knew about it. There are a couple times where the RED flag should have been thrown up - and we didn't investigate those flags. I do know that your Mom's decision to let you live with your father was a huge deal and was probably one of the hardest things she ever did. That decision probably saved your life and maybe even your Dad and my life as well. That Easter - in the North Point bulletin was a preview of the next sermon series. Parent Guidance Required. We new we needed all the help we could get with and Kelly - we decided to "try" it for those 4 weeks. It stuck! All God's timing."

me part deux.

2010-01-14T18:41:00.003-05:00

Alright, so now to pick up where I left off. I will say, there are many details that I could never remember, but please be forgiving. I will do my best.

While living with my mother I would visit my father during the summer with my sister. There was a time when I went there and came back to my mom's different. My mom and I were talking and I asked her a question, a loaded question. "Mom, I don't want you to say yes or no right now, but what if I moved in with Dad?" Now, I was ten at the time, I must have been pretty bold to ask my mom that, or there was something even bigger involved behind that question. Around this time my Dad was offered a job in Atlanta, Georgia and was going to move there with Leigh-Anne. My mom prayed about this decision and made the choice, by herself because my father and step-father left it up to her, I would be moving in with my dad that summer after my 4th grade year.

The three of us; Leigh-Anne, Dad and myself moved into a home in Forsyth County, Georgia in August of 2000. My fifth grade year went pretty well. I did well in my classes and for the first (and last) time I made it onto honor roll. I still had an anger problem and kids did think I was pretty weird. Although, I do remember making friends for the first time that wanted to spend time with me in this school year. Things were not too bad and I cannot remember much more about this time.

Onto middle school, some of the worst years of my life. My 6th grade year is when things started to really change. Leigh-Anne and I began to find arguing a common interest. Details are pretty fuzzy for 6th grade, although I do remember getting some detentions and the parents were not too happy about that. I also remember September 11 of that year. I didn't understand what was happening but I do remember that the school wouldn't tell us much about what was going on.

7th grade year is where I found something that would change me forever. Alcohol. I remember the first time I drank. It was vodka, and I loved it. The bite of the drink and the feelings that would come after a few shots was it for me. It was almost as if I found what I had wanted for a long time. I would only try this a few times in that year, because I would be stealing my parents alcohol which you cannot do too often. Although, my nicotine habit, that I gained between 6 and 7th grade, picked up and there was a gas station close to my school that did not mind selling smokeless tobacco and cigarettes to me and a couple of other buddies. It felt pretty awesome. People would rely on the few of us to supply them with cigarettes. Felt pretty good at 13.

8th grade is where things really became interesting. I had moved on from drinking just alcohol and found something that I was even more fond of; pot. Along with that I found an interest in the meds closet of our house. I would try many different pills to get different effects. While I was in 8th grade I began to have a friend base of people who used drugs. Together we did what was uncommon to 8th graders. About half way through the last semester of 8th grade a group of students, including myself, were expelled from school for having and taking pills on campus. My parents were not happy about this and it caused many arguments in the house. I was also taken to a drug therapist to see if I could get some help. I ended up being home schooled and ground for the remainder of that year.

While I was in 8th grade my parents and I began going to church. Remember earlier when I said that my mom created a habit in me to go to church? Well this is where it became really important. Up until then we did not attend church in Georgia. We were introduced to a church on easter of that year that I will forever be grateful for. My parents have not left since. Things got a little better, although there was still much arguing in the house.

I hope you are able to track with my story thus far. There is a lot of stuff to fit in and I am doing my best to tell you the majority of it! For now, this is where I am putting the story on pause! Remember, if you have any questions for me, facebook me or email me!

brettjamesshields@gmail.com

-brett

me.

2010-01-12T19:16:00.002-05:00

I thought since I have some new followers of the blog that I would do some posts about who I am. I do need your participation though!

I would like to have you guys email me questions you would like to know; via email (BrettJamesShields@gmail.com) or facebook mail!

I will start with some basics.

I was born in Flint, Michigan on June 30th of 1990. At this point I was with my mother (Diane), father (Scott) and sister (Kelly). Not much to say about that point of my life. I imagine it consisted of crying, eating and pooping. When I was around 3 or 4 my family moved to Indiana for a short while, this lead up to my parents separation and my sister, mom and I moved to Ohio. This is where I would spend the next 7 years of my life. Along the way both my parents where remarried to who is now my step father (Dave) and step mother (Leigh Anne). In Ohio I gained a new brother (David) and another sister (Autumn). The years from k-4th grade are very blurry to me. I spent time having an anger problems and arguing often with my sisters. I did have quite an imagination as much as I can remember. I loved to play cars in my room and act as if I was one of the drivers. I would launch them on ramps and drive them in circles.

My family and I attended church on Sundays which to a kid of 4-10 is not too big of a deal. As I look back now, I am very grateful my mother consistently brought us to church. If any reason, it created in me a habit of going, which would play a big role in my life later on. I did have some school troubles at this time. I was first suspended from school in 3rd grade. I threatened another kid at school and apparently that wasn't the right thing to do! Yikes!

That brings me up to the age of 10. Like I mentioned, I do not remember too much. Only really what my parents tell me. I will make sure to continue on with my story in my next post. Until then; email me questions!

-brett

good news!

2010-01-11T11:37:00.002-05:00

I'll be honest with you. When I went to read my Bible this morning I went into it hoping to feel better, for whatever reason. I woke up with little joy today. Now, this happens often, cannot explain it to you. I imagine it is the enemy's way of distracting me with my first thoughts of the day.

I decide to fall into Romans again this morning. I love this book, there is a lot of victory for the people of God proclaimed in it. These people of Rome were given over to sinful ways of life and chose to be this way. Although, Paul wrote this letter to them that has so much Truth in it.

Chapter three of Romans is where my attention became locked in with what Paul was writing. I am seeing so much in my life that God is the only righteous judge, because His judgement is based on Truth. God is a God of ALL people; believer, faithless, little faith, big faith and all other kinds of walks. It is so easy for me to judge people based on what I do in my own life; but if I judge people does this make me any better than the others whom I am judging? Absolutely not.

"This righteousness from God comes from through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." -Romans 3:22-24 (NIV)

Good news? GREAT news.

We are all equal in this life. The faithful in God and the faithless in God.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." -Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)

"Therefore there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." -Romans 8:1-2 (ESV)

I will come back to Romans 8 in a later post for more good news that Paul talks about. As for today? Think about that in every situation you go into, There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It may change your day a little bit.

under Grace.

2010-01-09T09:37:00.002-05:00

"For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his." -Romans 6:5

Paul said many times to die to yourself and to let Christ live through you. I remember hearing this for the first time and loving every second of it. I thought, "Man, that life sounds fulfilling!" I have always been up for the idea of, "dying to self and living through Christ." That is just it though, I have always been "up for" the IDEA. I am beginning to understand that when Paul wrote the letters to the different churches and people of the new testament times that he didn't mean for this to be an idea. He was calling for a changed lifestyle. To really let Christ live through us.

Here's the truth, this is about a relationship. It is a different relationship than we could ever have with anyone. Christ died, then he rose again. He's not dead. There was a song at Passion this past weekend that has really stuck with me. The statement in the chorus of the song was this; "My God's not dead, He's surely alive and He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion."

Now, tell me again what relationships you have on earth like this with anyone? Not your mom, dad, sister, cousin, bros or girlfriends! It's amazing. It's not always easy though.

I struggle with the fact that I like the idea of this but don't always live it out. It's a calling each morning, afternoon and night to say God, I died with you on the cross. All of my sin, shame, guiltiness, transgressions and brokenness was nailed to a cross. Then, three days later when Christ rose out of the grave, I was with him again. This time I am considered holy and blameless in God's sight, through Christ. This is not an IDEA, it's truth and I want to celebrate because of it. Though I must try and live it out and not just think about living it out.

We are no longer enslaved by sin. (Romans 6:7) "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions." (Romans 6:12)

This is not Paul yelling at us to be better people. This is not God yelling at us to not sin anymore. It is simply a way to respond with thanks to God for what He has done. He knows what is best for us and He knows that sin is considered death in us. I come back to it again, it is a relationship. God is a dad who knows what is best for His children. He died and rose again all for His glory. His glory is what is best for us and I want to respond with praises and a life that shows the good things our Heavenly Father has said and done and continues to do.

Go, be blameless and holy in God's sight, not worrying about what the world is telling you. Do not let sin way you down. "For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under Grace." (Romans 6:14)

future.

2010-01-01T20:26:00.004-05:00

It is a new decade! Hello to the next ten years of our lives!

Does anyone have a new year's resolution?

For the year 2010 I would like to read more books, and the main part of that would be to finish them! I got this idea from a dear friend and it is a great idea! I'm thinking of beginning with the Twilight series. Why not; it is a huge part of culture!

Passion 2010 begins tomorrow and I am now extremely excited for it. If you read previous posts I mentioned I was nervous about it; my mother and I had a great conversation a few nights ago and she help clear my mind and I was able to clean my slate with Jesus and allow him to meet me where I am at.

Yesterday I was reading "My Utmost For His Highest" and got a huge amount of peace. I would like to share with you what I got out of it. The message was about how we all have pasts and have done things that we can say are not the best things in the world. God has chosen to forgive us for these things. Not only has he forgiven us, but he is also choosing to go before us in our futures to ensure that we have something to lean on when we are tempted in the same areas again.

I got so excited while I was on my ten minute break at work. My thought was, "Wait, God you are going before me in my future?? You want to make sure that I get through it better next time? That is awesome!" I believe that as I see temptations like thinking negatively about things along with other temptations in my life I will be able to see them differently now; knowing that God has already been there AND prepared a way for me to get through it! I loved this.

Thank you for letting me share these things with you! Please pray for all of us attending Passion this week. 20,000+ people gathering together for His renown!!

Now it's time to go enjoy friendship, tea and great music. Happy New Year!

-brett

christ alone.

2010-01-01T05:56:00.003-05:00

This is not something that I wrote. This is from a devotion I receive through email. I loved it and wanted to share it with you!

"Friday, January 01, 2010

A Resolution Worth Keeping
by Jon Walker

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 (NIV)

Today's Guest Devotional is from Jon Walker, author of 'Growing with Purpose.'

If you're thinking about making some New Year's Resolutions, consider this one from The Apostle: "This year I resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified."

Paul's message is radically simple: Salvation is in Christ alone. What does this mean?

It's not Christ plus your good behavior.
It's not Christ plus the years you taught a Bible study.
It's not Christ plus your tithe.
It's not Christ plus the church you attend.
It's not Christ plus the number of verses you memorize.
It's not Christ plus your title in the church.
It's not Christ plus wisdom from the latest Christian seminar.
It's not Christ plus a desert fast (or even a dessert fast!).
It's not Christ plus a good driving record.
It's not Christ plus well-behaved children.
It's not Christ plus the right job.
It's not Christ plus the right spouse.
It's not Christ plus the latest technology.

It's simply Christ. Christ plus nothing.

That's a message that is as right throughout the coming year as it will be in 2999. May your new resolution for the year be nothing but Christ and him crucified."

Happy New Year everyone!

-brett

the new life.

2009-12-30T08:37:00.004-05:00

"But that is not how you learned Christ!- assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give NO opportunity to the devil."

~ Ephesians 4:20-27 [ESV]

"Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

~ Ephesians 4:28-29 [ESV]

"Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart, His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk."

~ Ephesians 4:30-31 [The Message]

I love this last verse...

"Be kind to one another, TENDERhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

~ Ephesians 4:32 [ESV]

thoughts.

2009-12-29T16:58:00.004-05:00

thoughts are overwhelming me this week.

Passion starts on Saturday and I am anything but prepared. Physically, I am prepared. It's easy to go. I just drive down to Atlanta and bam, there I am! Spiritually, I feel unprepared. That should be easy as well. I've heard many times in my life, "come as you are." Why I am so scared to come as I am at this point in my life? I think I am nervous about what God wants to stir up in my life.

Someone has grabbed my attention in my life. She is great, sweet and all around wonderful. I can't deny to put this on my blog, because right now she is a part of my life. She is currently on a cruise with her family enjoying warm weather I imagine. I'm jealous of this because warm weather and beaches sound EXCELLENT to me right now. It has been quite chilly this week!!

I have made myself a goal to have an extremely lazy week, other than working of course! I'm sure this won't help to the numerous thoughts in my head!

Another point: I got to see my friends Kati and Hanna from Estonia on Sunday night! I am looking forward to spending more time with them at Passion along with Daniel and Timo from Estonia. To add to the group of friends that will be in town, my main man Kerry will be staying at the house, he is currently living in Texas. Another guy whom I met this summer in Estonia will be staying at my house, his name is Jake and he lives in North Carolina! This will be great to see all of these people!

Please keep all of us in your prayers as we will be traveling back and forth from the venue on Saturday through Tuesday for Passion. More information on Passion can be found at www.268generation.com

Please pray for me, as I am having a hard time praying for myself!

-brett

a closer look.

2009-12-02T08:49:00.003-05:00

I personally would like to memorize the verses that Piper put in the article that I posted in my last entry. Honestly, I have never been big on memorizing scripture. Although, anyone who I have talked to whom is wiser than I am has told me how important AND life changing it can be. Therefore, it must make sense that we memorize these verses in our lives to fight lust and temptation.

With that said I am going to dive into these verses and place them on here. I do encourage you to look at these verses in your own studies as well as read them in context with where they are in the Bible. If you do not own a Bible; www.youversion.com is a great place to look at scripture.

AVOID

"Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires." Romans 13:14 ESV

SAY NO

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7 ESV

TURN

"That is not the way you learned Christ!-- assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:20-24 ESV

HOLD

"My dear Christian friends, companions in following this call to the heights, take a good hard look at Jesus. He's the centerpiece of everything we believe," Hebrews 3:1 The Message

ENJOY

"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:14 ESV

MOVE

Read Romans 12:9-21 (These tasks will keep you busy for a while.)

After reading these verses go back and read Piper's post on my last blog entry, see it in a new way. This morning I have seen it in a new way and I have somewhat begun to grasp this challenge.

Please continue to pray for me.

-brett

the battle.

2009-11-30T11:16:00.003-05:00

It has been quite some time since my last entry and I do believe it is a great place to begin blogging again. I'm going to jump right into things and place on here today something that I would like to learn. This is not something I have control over in my life right now and I am placing it here so that it can be a reminder to myself and to help give tools to you.

John Piper once posted something called "A N T H E M" online. It is a tool for fighting temptation. I would like to share this with you and ask that you could pray for me as I go through this battle. I hope to trust in God that He would be my strength. I am not great in the area of spiritual discipline, but honestly who is? It wouldn't be discipline if it was super easy!

With that, here it is. God be with you on this!

"A N T H E M

Strategies for Fighting Lust

By John Piper

November 5, 2001

I have in mind men and women. For men it's obvious. The need for warfare against the bombardment of visual temptation to fixate on sexual images is urgent. For women it is less obvious, but just as great if we broaden the scope of temptation to food or figure or relational fantasies. When I say "lust" I mean the realm of thought, imagination, and desire that leads to sexual misconduct. So here is one set of strategies in the war against wrong desires. I put it in the form of an acronym, A N T H E M.

A - AVOID as much as is possible and reasonable the sights and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say "possible and reasonable" because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say "unfitting desire" because not all desires for sex, food, and family are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. "Avoiding" is a Biblical strategy. "Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness" (2 Timothy 2:22). "Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14).

N - Say NO to every lustful thought within five seconds. And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. "In the name of Jesus, NO!" You don't have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen said, "Be killing sin or it will be killing you." Strike fast and strike hard. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" ( James 4:7).

T - TURN the mind forcefully toward Christ as a superior satisfaction. Saying "no" will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. Fight fire with fire. Attack the promises of sin with the promises of Christ. The Bible calls lusts "deceitful desires" (Ephesians 4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. The Bible calls them "passions of your former ignorance" (1 Peter 1:14). Only fools yield. "All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter" (Proverbs 7:22). Deceit is defeated by truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and beautiful knowledge. This is why I wrote Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, "NO!"

H - HOLD the promise and the pleasure of Christ firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. "Fix your eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon. They say, "I tried to push it out, and it didn't work." I ask, "How long did you try?" How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is a muscle. You can flex it with vehemence. Take the kingdom violently (Matthew 11:12). Be brutal. Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes. Hold it. Hold it! Don't let it go! Keep holding it! How long? As long as it takes. Fight! For Christ's sake, fight till you win! If an electric garage door were about to crush your child you would hold it up with all our might and holler for help, and hold it and hold it and hold it and hold it.

E - ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ. Don't say, "That's just not me." What steps have you taken to waken affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don't be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart - more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don't have: "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days" (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.

M - MOVE into a useful activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in the garden of leisure. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might. "Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord" (Romans 12:11). "Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58). Abound in work. Get up and do something. Sweep a room. Hammer a nail. Write a letter. Fix a faucet. And do it for Jesus' sake. You were made to manage and create. Christ died to make you "zealous for good deeds" (Titus 2:14). Displace deceitful lusts with a passion for good deeds.

Fighting at your side,

Pastor John"

so, what's going on?

2009-08-25T16:30:00.004-04:00

As of right now I am trying to get use to a schedule of early mornings and long days! I have been back at my Starbucks job for just a week and a half now. I work early in the mornings until the afternoons. I have no idea how to fill my afternoons and evenings.. suggestions?

I really would like to get a mentor sometime soon. I am having trouble walking day to day without an older "more experienced" dude smacking me around. It's always nice to have someone with wisdom and experience pour into my life. There is only so much I can figure out on my own.. actually, I really have trouble figuring anything out on my own!

My friend Kerry is in town this week with his family! I am hoping to spend some time with him and the fam. They are awesome people who I consider some of the most loving people I have ever met.

I have enjoyed playing drums each weekend at the youth groups of Mountain Lake Church. It is a blessing that I get to play there and I take it for granted often. It's hard sometimes to keep the servant's heart when you're focusing on playing and getter better. My hope is to learn how to completely give this talent back to God in a way of worship and a way of leading others into worship. I pray and keep on believing that huge things are soon coming for Mountain Lake Church's youth. This past weekend was great worshipping with them.

Please keep Mountain Lake's leadership in your prayers as they continue to grow the church!

Please keep me in your prayers that I may continue to be disciplined and that I can keep the joy of living for Christ. Sometimes I feel quite stuck. I have noticed that I am a pessimist by nature. Although I do believe that if I let Christ rule in my life ANYTHING is possible. This is where discipline comes into affect...

Thanks for tuning in, spread the word about this blog! Interested to hear what is going on in other's lives!

so, what's going on in your life?

-brett

ps check out leeland's new album "love is on the move"

http://leelandonline.com/blog/

story.

2009-08-19T22:17:00.003-04:00

Today may have been one of the best days I have ever had working at Starbucks. Everything went so well and we were fairly busy. I loved being there today. The people that I work with are awesome people.

I have really enjoyed seeing how small the world really is this week. I work with someone named Zoe. It just so happens that Zoe's step sisters and step mother attend the same church that I do, Mountain Lake Church. It gets even crazier, Crystal Corn, my friend and former spanish teacher knows Zoe's family. I also work with Phil who knows someone whose name is Jill. Well, Crystal knows Jill also. Jill knows one of Zoe's younger sisters and I could keep going, but I believe you understand the point.

Today I heard about another awesome story. A guy named Evan, whom I am in a small group with, is a part of the same program as my good friend and former band mate, Joel Thomas Webb. It is so crazy!

God is definitely in control and I do not believe that there is one person or thing that could ever orchestrate life as well as God does. Each day I see something new about His power and His control. I am so thankful for His grace and His willingness to include me in His story!

humbled.

2009-08-16T22:06:00.002-04:00

Last night I attended a gathering called The Warehouse. I went because my good buddies in the band "The Promise" were playing there. Well, it ended up being a night that rocked my world up a little bit. Jordan, the speaker and leader of "The FC", was speaking at the Warehouse last night. I have heard Jordan give sermons many times and I had actually already heard the one he spoke about last night in the past. This time it was different. Jordan stepped it up a notch and God grabbed my attention through it a lot more this time.

The main focus of the sermon was, Love the LOST. Meaning, those who do not know Jesus. Tell them about Jesus. Direct your passion to the lost, because something else is grabbing that passion that should not be holding it. Start to care about the lost.

To be honest, it was one of the most convicting sermons I have heard in a while. It scared me. I realized how much I don't care about people. I mostly just care about myself and I hold onto my beliefs like I own them. Truth is, it is by grace that I am even alive. I have no reason to go through life not loving and sharing the greatest thing that could ever happen in the UNIVERSE.

I have noticed a lot of scripture over the past month about how when I chose to believe in Jesus Christ, I chose to die and let Christ live through me.

I'm not sure where to sit with all of this. I will continue to learn, fail, repent and learn more. All in all, I am after God's heart.

-brett

home.

2009-08-11T23:15:00.002-04:00

It is interesting the way things change and when you think about change in your life. I find myself looking back to even two months ago and noticing growth in my life. I have finally become interested in reading the Bible over the course of this summer. This is something that I desired even just 3 months ago. It has been rocking my world and challenging me. I still haven't figured out where everything sits from what I have learned this summer. At times I feel out of place, but that is only because I am out of place of where I have been for two months. I do believe in the next two weeks I will have "sunk" into life here again!

I went into Starbucks yesterday to talk with the manager (whom was my manager before I left to go to Estonia) to see about me being able to work there again; he hired me back!! I am so extremely excited to have a job back there again. I really do like working there. I will begin back at Starbucks EARLY Saturday morning!

Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Re-entry after two months of being gone is confusing me every once in a while. Thank you for reading!

-brett

new things, old teachings and a fresh approach.

2009-08-09T13:09:00.005-04:00

It feels great to be back in Atlanta. I have loved seeing people that are very close to me. The trip home yesterday went very well. The flights were very smooth and comfortable. I was anxious the last 3 or 4 hours of the trip because I was becoming so excited to be back in Atlanta. When Logan and I went to get our baggage we found out that neither of my bags had made it to Atlanta! The good news though is that Logan's bags made it! I will have to call them this afternoon to check on the status of my bags.

This morning I attended Mountain Lake Church as they were having their grand opening of their new worship center! The whole church building has been transformed into an extremely beautiful and attractive church. It was awesome to be apart of this morning. I am also looking forward to attending MLC regularly. For those of you who do not know about this church, it is a church in northern Forsyth county. If you turn left onto Brownsbridge road going North on GA 19 (400) you will follow for a short distance and then turn left onto Dahlonega Highway. The church will be on your right just past Coal Mountain church which will be on your left. I had been playing drums at this church for the 6 months or more before I went to Estonia and I will continue to play there starting next Sunday, which I am EXTREMELY excited about.

The pastor this morning delivered a great sermon about when the Pharisees asked Jesus what they should do with a woman who had committed adultery. According to the law of the time people who committed adultery could have stones thrown at them as punishment. Jesus had choices to tell them and the Pharisees were looking for any reason to get Jesus in trouble so they could have him punished. This is why they brought the woman to him. Jesus was kneeling down at the same level as the woman who was on the ground. Jesus stood up and told the Pharisees this, "Let him who is without sin amongst you be the first to throw a stone at her."

After Jesus said this he bent back down towards the ground. One by one, beginning with the older ones, the Pharisees left without throwing a single stone. After they had left Jesus stood up and asked the woman, "Where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

The woman said, "No one, Lord."

Jesus replied, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."

This is life changing if you grasp what Jesus did and said here. There is one difference from the Pharisees and the woman who committed adultery. The woman's sins were known; the Pharisees sins were hidden. Jesus knew they were all sinners and that is why he suggested the one Pharisee who is without sin may throw the stone at her. None of the Pharisees are without sin. No human is without sin. We are all on the same level.

It was great to be reminded of this and how much I need the grace of God every day. I fall short of the glory of God. This is why I need Jesus.

Being home, like I said, is very nice. It felt good to sleep in my bed and it feels good to be sitting on my couch writing this to you. I am very excited for the challenges I will face in the next months of my life as I walk daily again in Atlanta. I hope to continue writing these blogs. Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Mainly the prayer of me continuing to stay disciplined.

Thanks!

-brett

*This story of the Pharisees and the woman can be found in the Bible. It is in the book of John or for those of you tuning in from Estonia the book of Johannese evangeelium. It is in chapter 8 of John, verses 1 through 11. See on grupi kaheska Johannese evangeelium, verses üks kuni üksteist.

your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

2009-08-06T17:17:00.004-04:00

On that day when I see

All that You have for me

When I see You face to face

There surrounded by Your grace

All my fears swept away

In the light of Your embrace

Where Your love is all I need

And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold

In Your presence healed and whole

Let the songs of heaven

Rise to You alone

No weeping no hurt or pain

No suffering You hold me now

You hold me now

No darkness no sick or lame

No hiding You hold me now

You hold me now

In this life I will stand

Through my joy and my pain

Knowing there's a greater day

There's a hope that never fails

Where Your Name is lifted high

And forever praises rise

For the glory of Your Name

I'm believing for the day

Where the wars and violence cease

All creation lives in peace

Let the songs of heaven

Rise to You alone

For eternity

All my heart will give

All the glory to Your Name

-You Hold Me Now

Hillsong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GH-AkJDkNE

oh man.

2009-08-06T15:48:00.003-04:00

This past week has been incred-ible. As a team we all went away on a vacation to Võru, Estonia. This was a very important time for us, it was our debriefing of the whole summer. This is important because well, more than two months of things happened in two months. It is a way for us to begin to process everything that happened this summer. Let me tell you, a lot has happened.

We left with only one expectation; to get rest. And we did. It was so nice to sleep long nights and even take 30-45 minute naps each day after lunch. But, we had much more than just time to rest. We spent genuine time with our Heavenly Father. It was so nice to be in awe of God's power as he brought healing to some tough situations and genuine repentance where it was needed. You see, this summer we all made mistakes and it made me really begin to understand God's grace. As humans we were all destined for death because of our rebellion against God. Even many years before Jesus came to the earth God wanted to save us. He offered an opportunity to sacrifice animals rather than let us die for our sins. Then the ultimate sacrifice; the lamb of God; Jesus. Because of His life on the cross we now have life. We are still imperfect, and so we must repent and know that Christ gives us life.

We spent time in prayer as a team and also in personal devotion time. We celebrated the victories of this summer. Yesterday morning we celebrated and remembered the body and blood of Christ with a time of communion. It was so awesome to just be and spend time together with this family I have here in Estonia. There was wonderful food at the facility and we were able to have Sauna three nights in a row. Last night we were also able to get into the hot tub. We enjoyed a variety of food last night as we grilled out the Estonian way. The best way in my opinion!

We all headed back to Tartu today to begin the going away process. This included last minute shopping and saying good bye to friends we have made this summer and also friends whom I have known for quite a while now. I received my first Estonian Pibel (Bible) tonight and I am so excited about this and am so thankful for the people who gave this to me. I am blown away by the grace of God right now. The fact that I am able to come and serve here in Estonian and back in Atlanta and have life is just so amazing! I am so thankful to God for everything He has done this summer. It will take months to process everything and I am looking forward to the changes and adjustments over the next few months.

I have loved being here in Estonia for the third time and the second full summer in a row. I have a family and friends here now and there is no denying it. This is a home to me. I know I am welcomed here and I respect Estonians. Thank you for making things so wonderful here Estonia.

I also would like to mention that I am listening to the new Hillsong album titled "Faith+Hope+Love" and I am loving it. I am going to end this post with this:

"I will exalt You, I will exalt You, I will exalt you. You ARE my God. I will exalt You, I will exalt You, I will exalt You. You ARE my God. My hiding place, my safe refuge, my treasure Lord, You are. My friend and King. Anointed one. Most Holy."

she said it best.

2009-07-31T18:24:00.006-04:00

I had a thought this night. It scared me, but it woke me up to a new way of living life. I had a thought that I would die for these students to be protected from the enemy (Satan: which means adversary). The ones who don't know Christ; my hope is they are safe. The ones who do know Christ; my hope is that they may gain tools against the enemy.

God moved in such a big way this week. I will not tell you in my own words; I will show you a testimony from camp. From a girl whose life, I believe, is forever changed.

Sandra,

If you read this, I hope it is okay that I am sharing this. You are an awesome person and this letter means so much to me and the american team.

-brett

--------------------------------- Testimony ------------------------------------

Dear team USA,

After arriving home I felt I needed to write a letter to you all. At first I wasn’t sure about it but then I thought to myself that I have nothing to lose.

I just wanted to let you all know what a great job you did. Spreading the word about God and being our friends in this short period of time. You’re all amazing, friendly and cheery people. I wish you all the best. I must say, being a non-Christian I was a bit skeptical when I heard that it’s going to be a religious camp but now I feel that coming there and meeting all of you was the best thing I could have done. The time I spent with the eight of you was amazing. I gained the strength and confidence to pursue my dreams. Before this miraculous experience I was unsure and worried about my future but at the moment I’m calm and excited about whatever there is to come.

I told Kayla that even though I don’t believe in God I think there’s truth in every story. After hearing stories that Brett told us I have more respect for those who believe strongly about God or anything else. I feel you did well with this camp and I hope you feel that you reached the goal you tried to achieve. I thank you, as many times as there are stars in the sky.

Sandra Kelt

SAMANTHA – Your friendly personality and smile will make every person feel good and happy. No one can be sad when you’re in the room. I look forward to the time when you can take me to eat Mexican food. =)

BENTON – Funniest guy ever. Your great speaking skills will make people trust in you. You also know how to make an impression if you realize it or not. By the way, let me know how “So You Think You Can Dance” works out for Danny!

MEREDITH – The sweet girl. You’ll never be sad. You always laugh and have a good time. Like Sam, you light up the room.

SCOTT – The Charmer. You draw people, especially girls, with your looks. But there’s so much more to you than your appearance. After talking to you I realized that you’re very passionate and concentrated on the task in hand. After the job is done you laugh your heart out and have the best time of your life.

TYLER – The intelligent one. I think it’s great that you want to spread the word about heart conditions, especially with kids. I believe you’ll do great things in your life.

WILL – Even though I didn’t get the chance to talk to you, I think you’re a great guy and very important part of the team.

BRETT – The story teller. A born leader. You’re good at what you do, don’t ever stop. You made every story believable and interesting to listen to. I thanked you personally and I thank you again. Because of you this past week had a good impact on me.

*KAYLA – You’re not the biggest person in the world but you have the biggest heart. You were there when I needed someone to talk to. Thanks to you I realized that I’m not as bad person as I thought I was. The letter you wrote me will always remind me of our conversations and your comforting words. You are a sweet, sweet girl.

Good luck to you all and all the best!

*FAVORITE

consider yourselves challenged.

2009-07-30T06:30:00.004-04:00

This week and at every camp I have seen with my very eyes the movement of God.

Two girls decided to trust in Jesus Christ last night. Not only did this huge thing happen here at camp; we also saw Christians from different walks with Christ become challenged by the story of God and by the gospel of Christ. I had a conversation with someone today who became a Christian just in the last year. Before he came over to Estonia to serve at this camp he was asked by someone, "Do you believe everything that the Bible says?" He answered honestly, "I do not know enough about the Bible yet to know if I believe it or not."

This morning he told me that after hearing the story of God and the bigger picture of creation all the way to the death and resurrection of Christ that he does believe in the Bible and he is interested in reading more about the stories that are in there.

You see, when you get the bigger picture of God's story you understand why certain things are the way that they are. Also when you understand things like, the Israelites for hundreds of years had to over and over again sacrifice a lamb for their sins but yet they still would not stay close to God, then they would have to continue sacrificing animals. God would forgive them when they made the sacrifice but they still continued to mess up over and over again. So when John the Baptist called Jesus the Lamb of God , he knew what he was talking about. No longer would humans have to make animal sacrifices to God, because Jesus came as the ultimate sacrifice. What would it be like if every time that you rebelled against God you had to go and find a lamb and sacrifice it for your sin and then the next day you made a sin again? You would have to wait until you got another lamb to get forgiveness from God.

Jesus makes so much more sense just knowing about the Israelite's sacrifices. You can begin to understand that by the Grace of God we are forgiven before we even sin and we do not have to kill animals and offer them to God.

I believe these students have a better understanding of why Jesus came and I also believe that these students may be able to better see that they are a part of the story and that God is the main character and as humans, we can be his supporting actors and actresses. God has been desiring to have a relationship with His humans since the days when He walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. I hope that by the life that Jesus lived here on earth people may return back to God's way of living. I hope that whether you are a Christian or you do not even know God that the Gospel of Jesus Christ will challenge you. No matter how young or old you are the Gospel should challenge you and change you. I hope that the Gospel will continue to challenge me and change me day after day. I also hope the same for you all. All things point to Jesus. All things.

thanks to Him.

2009-07-29T08:47:00.007-04:00

As I finished setting up the room for the main meeting during free time two girls walked in and one of the girls began to talk with me. I asked her how she has enjoyed camp and she is loving it. She said that she had heard some of these stories before, a couple in school. She also told me that she goes to church on Christmas. We continued to talk about camp and she told me a story about what happened yesterday. Scott also told me this story and I am so proud of him on how he has stepped up as a leader with his group this week. Scott prayed over his small group (which she is in) and afterwards she began to pray also. She thanked God for things in creation like animals and flowers. She continued on to tell me that she had never experienced the feeling she had after she prayed this time. She felt dizzy. After she told me this she told me that she is not that strong of a believer of God and that one time, I'm not sure how long ago, there were some storm clouds forming where she was at. She didn't want the rain and so she prayed to God to hold the rain and it did not rain! This is the reason why she believes in God. I am not sure that she knows a lot about Jesus and so Scott shared with her who Jesus is and she also excited to hear more of the stories at camp.

Tonight's stories are the "Birth of Jesus" and the "Life of Jesus." I am looking forward to being used to share these stories with the students. Please be praying for those who do not know Jesus to understand who he is and why he came. I will be praying for this as well, it would be awesome if they became believers in Christ, but honestly for me, the most important thing is just that they know who he is and why he came to earth. If they know who he is then I believe down the road of their life they will believe in Him. These students are really awesome and so unique.

I would like to share a verse that sums up this week for me. I have had in my mind all week that this camp is only happening and going so well by the grace of God. Also the only way I can explain how the number of students that are at this camp doubled from just a week and a half ago is because of God's grace. This morning just a little while after I woke up, I read this...

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing." Romans 2:20

The reason I place this here is to say, if I do not recognize the grace that God has poured into this camp and into my life, then Chris died for no reason and I also would have no reason to tell these students the story of God. Thanks to Him for Grace!

woah. woah. woah.

2009-07-27T16:32:00.002-04:00

I am so blessed to be apart of this English camp. God has trusted us with more than we deserve and I am so thankful for this. Just 5 days before camp we were only expecting to have 15 students here. As the days became closer to camp more students began to sign up. We have between 33 and 36 students at camp with us. God has trusted us with this many for the week. I am familiarizing this with the scripture that states, "to whom much is given, much is expected." So this week we are giving to God quality. A quality camp that allows students to have relationships together and with their group leaders.

We will serve. We have been called to be servants and to be used by God this week. Every story that is told is for His glory and every relationship that is made is for His glory. God alone deserves the praises for everything that is going on here at camp!!! I am so excited to be a part of this!

-brett

PS Braden James Morris was born into the world today! Happy birthday! Mary, I am praying for you and Braden!!

Kuressaare camp Day 1.

2009-07-26T16:44:00.003-04:00

God,

I love you. You are so great.

Amen.

Today great things are happening already and God is using people to connect. Once again, this camp is so different than any other. I love that no matter how many camps you have, they are never the same. The structure of them remain the same, though the relationships and things that happen are so different. God always places great people together to show His light. He is using us as His vessel. Please keep the students and leaders of this camp along with the students and leaders of the Rakvere camp in your prayers. The Northpoint team is at the Rakvere camp helping and the "Benton & Co." team is here at the Kuressaare camp helping.

People to keep in prayers:

Josh Causey (hosting at the Rakvere camp)
Scott Paige and Benton Cranford (Scott is hosting all week here at the Kuressaare camp and Benton is "Dancer Danny")
Innar Kruglov and Chris Brock (These are the leaders of the camps; Innar=Kuressaare, Chris=Rakvere)
Storytellers at the camps (Chris Brock *Rakvere* and myself here at the *Kuressaare* camp)

Hope that everyone that is reading this is doing well.

-brett

Kuressaare.

2009-07-21T06:29:00.003-04:00

This is Kuressaare; it is on an island off the coast of Estonia.

preparation.

2009-07-21T06:14:00.003-04:00

Yesterday began the preparations for the final two camps of the summer! I have been looking through the Story of God to get ready to be the story teller at the final camp I will be attending.

Our team enjoyed being together for the last camp and now we will split in two again. Two or three of us will be going to Kuressaare and the rest will be going to Tallinn. The teams that are arriving this week are both from Georgia; one team from Northpoint Community Church and the other a group of students from Georgia College and State University, I like to call this group "Benton & Co."

I am very excited for this last camp, I really do believe that God is going to do HUGE things for the leadership team of Kuressaare's church and also for the students that will be attending camp.

Innar and I are heading up this camp and I also believe that God is already and going to continue doing huge things in us as we are both young and new leaders. This challenge is so exciting for me. I am looking forward to learning both the easy and the hard way from this camp. Personally this is my seventh English Camp I have been a part of and I believe that I know more about English Camps than anything else in my life. In all 12 and half years that I went to school I did not learn this much. I have really found a passion in this place and I am sad to have to leave in less than three weeks. Although with that said, I am looking forward to future meetings with Estonia.

On Thursday we will begin our final journey as a team for this summer. Please keep us in your prayers for safety of travel and also for spiritual protection. More importantly please keep the leaders of the church in Kuressaare and the students that will be attending camp from Kuressaare; also the leaders from Rakvere's church and the students that will be attending camp from Rakvere in your prayers. They are why we are here. We love serving them.

-shields

kohila.

2009-07-17T17:38:00.004-04:00

Upon return to Tartu tonight there is a piece of my heart that is in Kohila. All week long I struggled with trusting God. I had many challenges and I was also very tired. Though I was very humbled the past two days, as I very plainly saw God working all around me. God gave me so much energy this week and I believe used me as a way to make students laugh all week long!

Some of you may end up seeing some "interesting" pictures of me show up on Facebook; these interesting photos are a character that I played all week long at camp named, Dancer Danny. God really used the character to get students excited and pumped up in the mornings and at the Tuesday night dance party. I for sure don't enjoy dancing, so that is how I know it was God doing all the work! Maybe now I will enjoy and appreciate dancing just a little bit more.

Today we had an after party with the students and it was such an incredible time! The party began with students going all around their town, Kohila, and stopping at stations. The station I was at was on a bridge. At this bridge the teams that would come had to get their team from one side of the bridge to the other, carrying at least one person on their back! It was very interesting, especially since I couldn't explain it very well. I was stationed there with a new friend of mine, Anne. The two of us had some very good conversations and also enjoyed the beautiful river and day that was all around us.

After the big town race was over the winner was announced and we moved onto a field to begin hanging out as a large group. It was so much fun throwing the frisbee and then eventually eating some great meat and salad. The evening ended with a HUGE game of "Duck, Duck, Goose." It really made me feel like I was 7 years old again! After the game the team and I made our way back to Tartu, where I am now.

I am so happy to have met you Kohila. You have all touched my heart; the team, the students and the beautiful town that you have there. Thank you for coming to camp and thank you for letting all of us serve you this week. I hope to meet you again in the future. Maybe we could have an even better time! Sleep well tonight.

-dancer danny

ps I can't even really explain how much I loved being there. The first two English Camps have been incredible this summer. Praise God. Please keep Innar and I in your prayers as we will soon begin preparing for our last English Camp this summer. Also, please keep Chris, Evelin and Logan in your prayers as they will soon be preparing for their last English Camp this summer. I will be a story teller at the last camp, telling the story of God to students who most likely don't know it. What an opportunity. 'night

dance party.

2009-07-14T16:18:00.004-04:00

Today was an incredible day of camp. I began my day off on a good note and feeling confident about what was ahead! And God was totally in charge today! I was reminded this morning that I can't add an inch to my height nor an hour to my life by worrying, so I shouldn't worry about camp. Thanks God!

This camp and week has felt so different then any other thing I have ever experienced. God, what are you up to in me? I'm excited about it.

Highlights for today:

7. Jeopardy Challenge in the English Environment time. (Our group didn't win, but we say we did!)

6. Swimming

5. Noodles for dinner

4. The Band With No Name (Our "Air Band" for open night mic)

3. Capture The Flag (BRUTALLY AWESOME)

2. Open Mic Night's DANCE PARTY (best dance party Eastern Europe has EVER seen)

1. Seeing students having fun and smiling.

Please continue praying for all of the students at camp!! Also for the leaders and Dave the speaker!

Prayer requests:

*Students would feel comfortable to really open up the next day and a half.

*Students and leaders would be protected from injury.

*Leaders would be trusting that God CAN do anything in these student's lives!

-brett

woah!

2009-07-13T17:38:00.002-04:00

So this morning we faced rain and cold weather. As the day moved on the skies cleared up and the sun created heat! The past day and a half of camp has been somewhat difficult and unknown to me. Being a small group leader is such a new thing for me here in Estonia. I am currently in my sixth English Camp and it is only the second time I have been a small group leader. The first time was in 2007; the first time I came to Estonia.

Please keep all of us in your prayers. All the leaders and students! God is great; he is in control. God is Good; he will provide. God is glorious; I don't have to fear others. God is gracious; I don't have to prove myself.

All said, I am feeling very interesting right now. New emotions at this camp, but it is all very exciting and thrilling at the same time!!

-brett

ps: I was able to make lattes tonight in Cafe time. It felt great to be making coffee drinks again!

"Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real"

-Hillsong United

summer camp.

2009-07-12T16:50:00.003-04:00

Today was the beginning of the Kohila English Camp. It feels so different then every other camp I have been to. It feels like a summer camp. What I mean is...the facility is very outdoors. The main meeting spot is in a pavilion and the sleeping spots are cabins! I am really enjoying it.

The students that are here are so awesome! Most are very interactive already. Tonight we went through the first two scenes from the story of God. These stories were; Creation and Adam and Eve. Please be praying for all of our small groups! The students that are in Greete and I's small group are: Helen (16), Evelin (17), Anne (17), Mari (17) and Kristiine (17). SO there are now names, faces and souls to the students whom we have all been praying for! Stinkin' cool!

I love you guys!

-shields

ps ~ tomorrow night we will Sauna! SUPER!

i've got friends.

2009-07-09T14:12:00.005-04:00

All over the place I've got friends. God has blessed me with who I think are the greatest people in the world as my friends! This week has been a really tough week for me. It was meant to be a week of rest for the next camp and up until tonight I have felt everything but rested. Today started out as a horrible day and it was only piled on from the previous days of the week!

When I got home from the office today, the mom of the family that I live with asked me, "How was your day?" I replied, "If I could be honest with you, it was crappy." She then told me, "Well you still have the night."

She was right.

I had to ask forgiveness from someone here whom was a victim of my own stubbornness. I hate that it can happen like that, I felt so horrible. After the two of us talked I felt much better. Lesson learned. Although it is hard to be humble and ask for forgiveness, we need forgiveness to make it through life. So thank you sister for your forgiveness!! Christ was shown through you tonight!

Earlier tonight I was able to see some of my closest buds through iChat. I was able to see them rehearsing worship music for Sunday and then to goof around with them for some time. Thanks TJ for initially starting it all earlier this evening (or morning in ATL) I love those guys and it meant the world to me to talk to them!

Tomorrow I will be leaving Tartu again with the awesome team that I am apart of to embark on a new journey. English Camp: Kohila

We are all very excited about what God will be doing at this camp. We have high expectations!! I am having the opportunity next week to be a small group leader. Please keep me and my partner for the week, Greete, in your prayers. Prayers for the students that will be at camp will greatly be appreciated!!! These students are one of the main reasons why we do camps!! Please also keep the leadership team from Kohila, Estonia in your prayers as they are the other reason why we do camps; to help equip them with leadership qualities.

The Lord is doing great things here in the youth of Estonia and also in my heart!

Until next time,

Nägemist!

-shields

today.

2009-07-08T10:41:00.003-04:00

I was at Lõunakeskus and i was watching people ice skate. I decided... it was peaceful watching ice skating.

thank you Salem Chapel.

2009-07-07T19:03:00.002-04:00

Looking through pictures from last week's English Camp I saw this one and it brought me joy.

The team from North Carolina did such an amazing job and I LOVED serving and working with them.

so thank you Salem Chapel.

You are amazing people!

belly dancers, bombs, singing and Jesus.

2009-07-06T04:20:00.002-04:00

Good day to everyone!

It has been such a busy 8 days and I am hoping that I can catch you all up in this blog post.

God has been doing great things here in Estonia. 7 days ago I left with my team to go to a city in Estonia called Elva. That day we met with a great team from the city and had some training with them. Later on in the evening a team from Salem Chapel church in North Carolina made it to Elva after 46 hours of traveling. They should have made it much sooner than that, God had different plans with them. They were very tired but joyful when they finally made it. We had some training with them that night and then we all went to get rest for camp.

The next day (Sunday/Pühapäev) all of us went to the church in Elva to join their congregation for service. After the service Chris and I left to head to Tartu to pick up all the materials for camp while Kati and Evelin went ahead to Sihva to check on the facility where camp would be. The team from North Carolina stayed with the team from Elva because they would be joining the students for camp to ride on the bus with all of them. This year we wanted the camp to begin on the bus, which seemed to work really well.

As Chris and I were finally heading to Sihva with the materials Chris received a phone call. We were told from Kati that there was a group of belly dancers that were putting on a concert in the school we would be staying at and we would have to wait until later to set up. This meant one thing, IMPROV. So, that is what we did. Everything worked out very well, we ended up starting our first session right on time as planned. Later on that night around 1:30 in the morning some locals decided to mess with our camp and throw mud at the windows of the rooms that the girls were staying in. We could not get them but it ended up being a short night of sleep. God was in control.

The next day we continued on with our sessions and had our first English Environments which consisted of Comics, Meet & Greet, and CSI:Estonia. The students had a great time. At the end of the day we were pretty exhausted. We had seen the students were really struggling to listen to and talk about the story of God. Some were even at the point of saying, "I don't care about God, don't talk with me about it." We were very trusting that God had the students in His hands. The night of the second day of camp the fun began again at 1:30 in the morning. This time though it was homemade vinegar "bombs." When the first set of these "bombs" went off we called the police and basically the police said we don't care, call us if it happens again. Well we ended up calling again, after the second set of "bombs" went off. This time they came out and the local kids had already ran away, so the cops took one of the blown up bottles and set and watched over the school for the night. That night was another short night of sleep. God was still in control.

The next two days we continued on with the Story of God and English Environments which now consisted of The Amazing Race, Jeopardy, and World Villages. The story became very tough for the students as we began to talk about the flood (where God killed everyone on earth) and other stories where the students seemed to see God as mean. Somewhere in this time we had a student leave camp because there was too much God involved. It was very cool though that in the last 4 or 5 parts of the talk to see the mood in the room changed. We began to talk about the Israelites and how they kept messing up and going back to God who would forgive them. As this part of the story wold go on I believe that students began to realize that the people were the problem and that God was always consistent and Holy (good, right, and perfect). God was in control and grabbing the students hearts.

On wednesday we introduce the students to the part of the story where Jesus was born and about the live he lived. All the miracles he did and how he loved and forgave everyone. This is where things really changed and the students were relieved because, "Ahh, finally something good in the story!" On Thursday morning the story of Death and resurrection was told and the students talked a lot about this in their small groups. After the meeting on Thursday we had lunch and took many pictures and then the students got onto a bus with the team from North Carolina and headed home. God had been so in control everyday that week even when things could be very hectic. I made so new very special friends this past week at camp and I won't forget them.

We had students who changed and were very interested in looking more into this "God thing." One guy, who I am very proud of, decided that God was pretty okay after stating at the beginning of the week, "I don't care about God, don't talk to me about it.

On Friday we had a great "grill and chill" and picture party with the students from Elva. We had an opportunity to share somethings we were all grateful for and then I took a moment to thank God for all of those things, the people there and the food. It was a very cool moment. We had goodbyes that night, this was very difficult to say goodbye to everyone. We had all been so close that week. After goodbyes, our team + the North Carolina team headed back to our hotel in Elva to get some rest before our early morning the next day.

On Saturday we got up around 5 to 5:30 in the morning to have breakfast and then head to Tartu to catch a train to Tallinn. The train ride was great, it consisted of good sleep and conversations about where the church (as a whole) is at in the States. The rest of the day was so much fun. We did soooooo much walking but it was totally worth it. The team split up and went shopping and sight seeing. Then we met up and took a journey to a place where over one hundred thousand people were gathering to sings songs together. Laulupidu 2009 was going on this year. This happens once every four years and I was so glad we were all able to be a part of it. After Laulupidu we walked back to down town Tallinn to go back to our Hostel to spend the night. The next morning we sent the North Carolina team in taxi to the airport to begin their journey home. After sending them off our team met up with Märt and his family for lunch. Then we met with our two friends Meelis and Johnny D. to get on a bus and head back to Tartu.

I hope this all made sense to you guys. I was just trying to get it all out in one entry. I learned a lesson here, make entries every couple of things as things are happening! haha.

Over the past two or three weeks some very cool things have been happening in my life and I am very excited to see what is to come from it. God has been blessing everyone here so much and I am so glad to be a part of what is going on in this country.

All the Glory be to our Father!

-brett

ECamping.

2009-06-29T13:27:00.002-04:00

God is in control.

Camp is in swing. Tonight we have made it into scene 5 of God's story with the stories of when God flooded the whole earth and when God gave Abraham and Sarah a child. The students are beginning to show interest with their answers in large group settings. The small groups and the Story are taking place in the same room, which gives the students, leaders, and speaker an opportunity to have a "large-group discussion." After each scene of the story the speaker asks questions for the whole group to answer so that the students can "re-tell" the story back to the speaker. After these questions each group spends time discussing more questions about the story and their own lives; in a smaller group setting.

The students are getting deeper into the story of God and things are getting interesting. The students are beginning to struggle and discuss questions like; "Why did God kill everyone on earth with a flood?" "Why did it take God 25 years to finally give Sarah and Abraham a child?"

It is quite incredible to look at the story of God in a bigger perspective. Seeing everything that happened rather than just bits and pieces.

Please be praying for our students, they are such awesome people and I would love to see some of their hearts changed by hearing HIS story! It changed mine the first time I heard it just as they are hearing it this week. I love these students.

Miss everyone back home!

-brett

The time has come...

2009-06-27T13:01:00.004-04:00

For three weeks now, a team of 7 have been preparing themselves spiritually, mentally and physically (okay, maybe not so much physically); to enter into a month + of english camps. It has been a ton of fun to be apart of a different family other than my family in the States. We have become so close to each other and enjoy spending time telling jokes (mostly about one and other). We have had the opportunity to share our fears with each other and the areas that we lack spiritually. In return of sharing fears we have been such an encouragement to each other as well.

God has been doing huge things in each of us, slowly and quickly changing our hearts for His glory. He deserves all praises. He gets all the glory from what happens here this summer.

Tomorrow we start our first English Camp. Praise God it is here! I am excited to meet all of the students tomorrow and really get things going! This summer is going by so quick! I can't wait to tell you guys about this week after it is over!

Please be praying for the students that will be attending camp this week!

-brett

prayer.

2009-06-23T07:25:00.002-04:00

I have some questions I was introduced to today that I would like to share with you:

1.Do you pray to get from God or to get God?

2.Do you pray to move God or for God to move you?

3.Do you pray to get out of pain or through it?

4.Do you courageously punctuate your prayers with "Your will be done"?

5.Do you pray in faith knowing God is not the author of sin but is the author over sin?

6.Do you ask your friends to pray for you even if you know they will fail to do so?

7.Do you pray to both hear and accept God's will for your life?

8.Do you accept that God will answer your prayers with, "yes, no, or later"?

In the Gethsemane prayer (Matthew 26 : 36-46) Jesus prays with requests to God, but also acknowledging that God's will be done. He prays that the cup that he is about to bare be removed from him and finishes with, "Yet not as I will, but as you will." He also asks his friends to pray for him twice, in which both times they fell asleep. Jesus prays, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." Jesus accepted that God said no to his requests of the cup being taken from him. By accepting that His Father's will be done, he was changed and instead of praying to get away from his death, he endured his death and remained close with God up until his death.

I'm not sure what is going on in some of your lives but, if you are a Christian you are not excused from hard, hard things. Too often I find myself praying to ask God to take, "this cup" away from me, yet I do not punctuate my prayer with, "Your will be done." I punctuate it with, "God do this for me." We will face difficult things in our lives, real things; death, sin, etc. Jesus did, he faced real things; betrayal, temptation, death. We are not excused from it. But, we don't have to be alone through it.

Please pray for me as I ask God for direction in my life and that I would not let lies into my head!

to be continued....

2009-06-17T14:56:00.001-04:00

June 15th and 16th, 2009 ( Music: Brooke Fraser; Album: Albertine)

"What to do when we know we have it all?"

I always find myself getting upset in times where God is not showing me huge things! I like to call those times when He is showing me huge things, "Spiritual Mountaintop Times." I struggle to find joy in much of anything on a typical day of this earth. On these average days, I desire for those times when I sense the presence of God so closely that I either cry or smile so largely that my jaw may break. The times spent in the Lord's presence are so peaceful.

Over the past year I have been slowly learning that you will not always be on a spiritual high in life. There are times where each day blends together and you must perform typical daily tasks. This morning I was reminded of something I heard a while ago, in the book of 2 Peter.

Simon Peter speaks of this truth, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who call us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promise, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

What does it mean or look like to lay down our lives and pick up faith? Jesus laid his life down for 33 years. 1 John 3:16 states, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." We ought also to lay our lives down for Christ and grow with Him. When we lie our lives down for Christ we escape the corruption in the world and we find that we belong to truth.

Knowing this, that his divine power has given us everything we need, what should we do in our everyday life? For myself, I become lazy and unproductive in the times when every day is similar to every other day. I imagine this creates in most Christ followers the result of becoming luke warm with their faith. We begin to lose the voice of the Spirit in the midst of everyday life. I say, "Yes, I will pray for that." Yet I seemed to have either not gotten around to doing it or gave a half hearted, non-believing prayer. There needs to be a balance in our lives to find things to do in everyday life concerning our faith in Christ.

I am so happy to have stumbled upon the book of 2 Peter again in a time where I have become somewhat luke warm.

2 Peter 1:5-9 "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

Adding to my faith.

brick wall.

2009-06-12T17:46:00.003-04:00

"Good news for the broken hearted, for the ones who mourn in darkness,

God gives relief and gladness, Beauty for piles of ashes,

Come now from every nation, come join this celebration,

The center of our praises, King Jesus, Our. SAL.VA.TION."

Writers block in Estonia.

A_Cross // The_Earth

2009-06-07T16:10:00.003-04:00

If you wonder if God exists in countries other than the States.

He does.

Go God. You hold the universe!

know Jesus.

2009-05-28T11:25:00.004-04:00

Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."

"Jesus answered: 'Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the father. How can you say, 'Show us the father'? Don't you believe that I am in the father, and that the father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the father and the father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."

this morning.

2009-05-20T08:54:00.003-04:00

God,

This morning you made my back yard look more beautiful then I have ever seen it.

This morning You have made it known to me that Your love endures forever.

This morning Your truth is in my heart.

This morning You have made it clear to me that You love me.

Today is YOUR day, be lifted high.

Today God, I know You are my friend.

Today creation is SCREAMING out to you!

Protect me today, carve Your truth into me today.

Let every breath I breathe today be to the glory of Your name.

"Praise the Lord, all you nations;

extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love towards us,

and the faithfulness of the LORD

endures forever.

Praise the LORD."

-Psalm 117

psalm 19.

2009-05-15T09:12:00.002-04:00

The heavens declare the glory of God,

the skies proclaim the work of his hands,

Day after day they pour fourth speech;

night after night they display

knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens he has pitched a tent for

the sun,

which is like a bridegroom coming

forth from his pavilion,

like a champion rejoicing to run his

course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes it circuit to the other;

nothing is hidden from its heat.

The law of the Lord is perfect,

reviving the soul.

The statutes of the Lord are

trustworthy,

making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right,

giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant,

giving light to the eyes.

The fear of the Lord is pure,

enduring forever.

The ordinances of the Lord are sure

and altogether righteous.

They are more precious than gold,

than much pure gold;

they are sweeter than honey,

than honey from the comb.

By them is your servant warned;

in keeping them there is great

reward.

Who can discern his errors?

Forgive my hidden faults.

Keep your servant also from willful

sins;

may they not rule over me.

Then will I be blameless,

innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the

meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight,

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

alcoholics and love.

2009-05-13T10:58:00.005-04:00

~~equality with God~~

I remember being in Alcoholic's Anonymous meetings and hearing , "It works if you work it." Over and over again these words were spoken. It was an anthem, spoken at the end of meetings as an encouragement before leaving. In the sense of AA it meant, if you do the twelve steps to the best of your ability sobriety can be accomplished. If an alcoholic is not active in the 12-step program at the early stages of recovery and they are maintaining sobriety, then there would be no reason to "work it." In most cases a person gaining sobriety on their own either means they are very strong willed or are not a true alcoholic, they may have just became mixed up in drinking. For the common alcoholic there are meetings to go to, steps to be done and sponsors for guidance. Although, if he or she does not put the effort into recovery, the chances are, they will continue drinking and drugging in a downward spiral of lifelessness.

I believe that the same that is said about working the 12-steps can be said about love, "it works if you work it."

Most of the time in my life I feel that God is taking care of my love towards others, that it is naturally happening. Which is not completely untrue, I do believe the closer one becomes to God the more natural it becomes to love others. The one thing I do know about love is that God's love is always constant and never changes. That is God's love, not of human effort but the very nature of God. As humans how are we to love? We cannot love always constant like God, we cannot be equal to God, He is too wonderful. Jesus, "who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped... made himself nothing and took the nature of a servant."

Jesus, may not have had to work for love either, because although He was human, He was God. He did have a lot to say about love though. Many of the authors of the new testament wrote about love. The way they wrote about it is very interesting, they don't simply tell the people they wrote their letters too, to just love and leave it at that. Jesus and these authors instructed ways to love people, knowing that the ability for humans to love was not naturally built in.

I would like to share with you some verses from Philippians 2, a chapter titled "Imitating Christ's Humility"

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:" Phil. 2:3-5

I believe the natural way of a human is to be selfish, to think about ourselves at all times, worry about ourselves and to share our interest with others. We have the nature of interrupting conversations to put our input in or to tell someone something cool that we have in our lives. We have the nature of "one-upping" everyone else. For Christians, we have the nature to tell a better God story than someone else or as I am guilty of sometimes, sharing words of wisdom that may not pertain to an issue someone is speaking to me about just to say, "Look what I know." Why are we like this? Why do we HAVE to be better than someone else?

... It is our nature. Why would we need a Savior if we were not like this. Why would we need the example of Jesus' servanthood if it were natural for us to serve? Would God's grace be as beautiful as it is if we were perfect?

What are we to do then in order to love, if it is not our nature? How do we receive God's love and then turn around and show it to the people we face everyday? How do we say, "Equality with God is something that cannot be grasped," and then still love others?

We work it.

Work for it, we take these words that have been given to us from God in the new testament and put them into action. We practice to become better at loving others. We will fail, be rude and question our ability to love. To be on guard of this, be quick to accept God's love at all times and to trust that His spirit will give us the resources to love others. Over time, I believe, it will become much more natural to love and God will introduce us to new ways to love that we may have never thought of. Love moves, God moves and this movement has always been going on and will never stop moving.

LOVE, it works if you work it. Praise God!

a letter to the only one who is worhty to be called LOVE.

2009-05-07T23:41:00.000-04:00

Father, tonight, this is where I paint my thoughts. I feel you are speaking to me, asking me to write and sort through my mind. God, I will begin with a prayer.

Father God, I adore You, I love You. You need to know that. I am sorry for the times I mess up and do not glorify You. I am here before you ready for words, actions, revelations, direction, but most importantly to declare that I ADORE YOU GOD. You are above all names and above ALL things. You have set the captives free and Your blood has washed us clean. Thank You. Thank You. God, I would like to ask for creativity along with fluent words to express myself. Lord, bless and anoint this time and these words. Use them in my life and in others. Your Spirit is real and here with all who believe. Father, all things ARE possible with the power and Love of Jesus Christ. Thank You for Calvary and thank you for loving me. I pray all these things in Your precious name, Abba Father. Amen.

Where to begin? Worship is all I can think about lately, and drums, but in the sense of worship. God, I trust that if I put all my effort into continuing to learn drums and into obeying you with money that You will open the doors. Patience is where I am at a loss. I love to worship You and the feeling of letting go of myself entirely, even for a moment, and thanking You. I earnestly want my life to be an example of You so much that when people speak to me it causes them to think of You and meet You. I have got to continue on with losing my life to find You. The fleshly things cause me to stumble and cause my heart to become callused. Of course it “feels” great to be close to You and be full of Joy, but God I want to be close to You for the sake of You and Your name. Not in order for me to be looked upon, but in order that You are shown through me. A life lead as an example to those who know God and have stepped away and a life lead for those who may have never met You to meet You.

That is all. I want to be used. I have never wanted to be used more. I will let You use me God. This is a case where being used by “someone” is so marvelous.

“ I see You hanging there upon a tree, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful.”

God, hear my prayer, here my words, they are all to You and all to further Your kingdom. You know the desires of my heart. Feed them Lord, in whatever way You know they need to be met. As prayers are rising up across the world Lord, hear us, Your children, we are crying out to You. We love You. We want to be with You. I want to be with You. I adore You. I will rest in You and You alone tonight. Not worrying about what comes after that. Thank You. Praise You. Goodnight my God. Goodnight.

futures.

2009-05-01T00:29:00.003-04:00

As brother Kerry is home I've gotten a taste of the good lovin'. He has been such an influence on my life and I appreciate all the invitations to seeing God he has placed before me.

Over the past week I've been angry. Everyday. Im not sure where this anger is though I am sure it is coming from not "knowing" the next step of my life. I worry about this often, the next step that is. This worry that I have, God so graciously lifted off of me on Spring Break this year and lately I have not been seeking him strongly. In this I've allowed the lies of Satan to come in that I NEED to know my future life right now.

1 John 3:2-3 "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."

So God, take my life and let it be all for YOU and for YOUR glory. Father, let me rejoice in YOU at all times and know that the plans of YOU stand firm forever. God, You are my life.

Amen.

receive it.

2009-04-19T11:07:00.003-04:00

And the Spirit of God endures forever. We are His portion and He IS OUR PRIZE. His thoughts and love are ONLY peace for us. He is not confusing, HE IS TRUTH. We are broken and He is THE HEALER. He and HE ALONE is the ALMIGHTY KING. His Kingdom is being brought down to the earth! We are HIS LIGHTS. He SHINES through us. He does HIS works THROUGH us. We are chosen and loved by the Savior of the WORLD. He is with us NOW. We do not have to wait, the Holy Ghost dwells within our hearts. The heaviness we feel time to time is our Father in heaven FIGHTING for our soul, rising up against the evil thief. Do not worry, HE IS VICTORIOUS!! The war IS won! We can be and ARE saved. Believe in that, believe in Jesus that He came for us to lay down HIS life for our failures. we are not, HE IS.

HE LOVES US.

If i fail, will You still run after me?

2009-04-18T16:22:00.002-04:00

My friend Benton introduced a song God gave to him to a group of men last night at Murder Creek. This song arose the idea that when we as humans are broken, bloody and dirty God still runs after us. We began the song and as the Spirit lead I began to sing and think about that I fail God time and time again, yet He still runs after me.

It is so easy to feel bad about yourself when you fail. It's almost as if we think God wants us to feel bad about things we have done. Honestly, I don't think that is what God wants at all. Satan wants us to dwell in our sorrows and beat up ourselves about them. We are breaking God's heart when we sit in our shame. The answer is to rejoice in God, rejoice in Him always.

To let God be lifted high in our lives is to let God invade our lives. Over time these things that bring us guilt and shame will be shown to us by God and cleansed by Jesus' blood. I am number one when it comes to beating myself up about life. I'm only beating myself up because I'm looking for the "RIGHT" way to live. Do you think that there is ONE right way to live? We should be more devoted to learning, living, and knowing God's will for mankind.

Back to the idea of God running to us. He is! It is so wonderful we could run so "far" from God and simply stop, turn around, and see Him. Chasing after us. He loves each and everyone one of us and only wants peace in our lives. No matter how messy things are, He is peace amongst that.

SO, thank you Benton for being open and sharing what God has given to you.

"the Lord is gracious
and slow to anger
He is rich in love
He is good to all"

Made alive!!

2009-04-12T10:21:00.001-04:00

"The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, Your Love that rescued the earth lives in me!"

CHRIST IS RISEN!!!!!!

i cannot thank You enough.

2009-04-10T00:22:00.002-04:00

The body stands upright in a position of surrender. This moment, placed not by coincidence but for a very purpose, is special. As the stars are numbered and the vastness great, we join up with the atmosphere to seek Life. Our King is glorified and our hearts are content. Our mouth and our hearts align to spill out meaning. This is His time. This is worship.

In the life of a Christian this weekend is the most incredible time of the year. Although it is something that would help if thought of daily, the cross symbolizes this holiday. It is Easter time! It comes once a year and no matter what is going on in our lives it will be celebrated. It is a time to say thank you to our God and recognize that we have been forgiven.

"So i'll stand, With arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all."

Worship.

But I have done so many things wrong. The past few days have been crappy. I fell into temptation this morning. I got into a fight with my parents. I am broken. I think I am ugly. I hate myself. God, are you listening?

Breathe.

Satan, go away! "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;...."

These distractions are all lies. It is so easy to say that is hard to worship and thank God for all the things He has done when are heads are full of junk, dirt. It is a lie. These things cannot keep us from true worship.

"neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Lay this lie down with me, that things can keep us from our God. It is not true. It is death working hard around us. Death is not Life.

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus

Father, let us give thanks to you always. Let us not fall into belief that things can separate us from You. Guard our hearts from the evil one in Jesus name. Let Your cross bring Life to us this weekend and always. Thank You for being pierced. Thank You for praying for us so many years ago. Thank You. God, thank You.

divinely placed

2009-04-07T02:52:00.002-04:00

In the sweet, sweet moments that God blesses a time of worship with His Spirit, the energy is overwhelming. At times, you just want to cry, others fall to your knees without second thought. This evening was a sweet moment in God's story. God chose that room inside of Buckhead Church to fill with His spirit. God moved, like the Santa Ana winds blow without warning or a signal saying; "Here comes God." No, He chose to explode at a moments notice. Thank You God for that. Thank you for allowing us to encounter the Living God. Thank You for what you have done for us, are doing for us, and will do in the next. Thank You for being pierced, thank You for speaking truth, thank You for loving our Father and Thank You for being crucified for our rebellion against God.

Lord, You are such a sweet song. Your spirit is a movement that knows NO limits. God, You bring laughter that cleanses the soul. Thank You.

Wooo!

written before.

2009-04-04T17:07:00.002-04:00

How beautiful. The true Love at last! He is so bright. He is so flexible and seems to move with the wind. How incredible. How glorious. Lift Him high up. Higher. He deserves it and wants it. He will in return give gifts of grace.

I shall remember this. The Savior is above the ~~thief~~. He saves...because He is the Savior. Oh, how i love you.

return.

2009-04-03T00:49:00.001-04:00

"Oh, if you would shine your love down here,

I promise I'd reflect right back at you."

- Copeland

Friendship...

2009-04-01T22:57:00.006-04:00

...is such an incredible thing. The idea of community is such a beautiful thing. People working together to lift each other up and be an encouragement to one another is simple what we are called to do.

The Lord knows that I can be a hurtful person and that my words can sting deep to people. My prayer has been that I would be cleansed of judgmental thoughts and replace them with interceding prayers. God CAN remove anything that is darkness. How can He not? He is light. The darkness inside of me has no place there, it does not belong. Would you agree the only thing that can replace darkness is light?

Father, light up the dark. Show forgiveness where it belongs. Convict my heart that can be full of judging and hurt. For YOUR name's sake light up the dark. Amen.

2009-03-31T20:55:00.002-04:00

i ate the apple at the beginning.